A Guide For Adoptees On Answering Ignorant Questions

I don’t know. I couldn’t communicate effectively back then (before I could speak!), so I couldn’t ask her. But seriously, if you don’t know this is a sensitive, personal question, go back to etiquette school. To be a little less snarky, though, you could suggest that there are multiple reasons why a birth parent might place a child for adoption, but that you are not sure about your own circumstances.

I wouldn’t call it feeling lucky. I love my parents and I love my family, but it doesn’t feel lucky to be relinquished by your biological family. To further complicate things, I had two older brothers who were out of control growing up. The house was perpetually chaotic, and the eldest sexually abused me when I was eleven. Do I feel lucky? No.

I remember going to a Chinese restaurant when I was growing up, and the woman that greeted us asked me if my brother and I were twins. We were both adopted at different times from different foster homes. He was two and a half years older than me and we really didn’t look much alike at all. I just said no, but it bothered me.

I have had the same doctor for a long time. Every year, when I go in for a physical, he asks about my family health history for some type of cancer or disease. Every year I cringe because I know it’s coming. Dude, if you can’t remember some basic information about your patients, take thirty seconds to read the chart before you go in. It would make a world of difference.