I have been active in the adoption community for about four and a half years now. I read a lot of blogs, websites, Facebook pages, and support groups. I am starting to have a problem.

I love adoption. It is a huge part of my life. I am a birth mom, but I am not JUST a birth mom. I am a chef, I am a mommy, I am a wife, I am a dog lover, I am a Mormon, I am a writer, I am a movie lover, I am a foodie, I am a hard worker, I am a sister, I am a daughter. I am not JUST a birth mom.


I see so much the emphasis on JUST the adoption side of people. Some people who adopt are obsessed with their children being obsessed that they are adopted. It is the only focus in their home. Every conversation has to do with it. Some people who place, too–that is all they talk about. They are only a birth mom in their eyes. Everything surrounds that. Many adoptive couples become infertility. They are sterility. They are heartbreak.

While adoption is a MASSIVE part of anyone involved in adoption, it is not the only part of them.

I don’t want my birth daughter to be “Josie the adopted kid.” I want her to be Josie, who is smart, beautiful, talented, and hilarious . . . who just so happens to be adopted.

Adoption is a big part of who I am. I do a lot with adoption and talk a lot about it.  BUT, I go out with my friends who aren’t involved in adoption. I do things that don’t involve adoption.

I am Jessa. I am a lot of really cool things. I also just so happen to be a birth mom.

Adoption should be celebrated, it should be taught, it should be talked about. But it should not be the only thing that is celebrated, taught, or talked about.