Adoption relationships can be difficult to create and maintain, for all members of the adoption triad. While it may be difficult, it is definitely possible. During your exploration of which adoption relationship is the best for you and your specific situation, you may find some aspects of the semi-open adoption relationship appealing.
One of the fantastic things about any open or semi-open adoption relationship is the ability to compromise and tailor the specifications to benefit all sides of the adoption triad. Even so, creating a successful semi-open adoption relationship takes work, dedication, understanding, and compromise. If all sides of the adoption triad are willing to create and maintain a successful semi-open adoption relationship, it can be your reality. So how do you create such a successful relationship? Here are a few pointers to consider as you explore your options, find a potential adoptive family, or progress through the adoption or placement process.
Your Needs: The first thing to do is to discover your needs for this adoption relationship. Compromise can’t be reached until you do so. Your needs are as important as the potential adoptive parents’ needs. To make it a little easier, write it down. If you want pictures several times a year, write it on the list. If receiving and sending letters interests you, jot that down, too. Even if they’re more desires than needs, keep track of them. This list will come in handy as you progress through this process of placing your child with an adoptive family.
Communication: This is key. Without appropriate, effective communication from all involved parties, any relationship– adoption-related or otherwise– will not work. Before you enter into any type of formal agreement with potential adoptive parents, you need to communicate your needs and expectations of the relationship. And in turn, the potential adoptive parents should be expected to do the same. Communication isn’t just important in the establishing of a relationship. It is crucial throughout its longevity. Once the communications stops, you can be sure that any relationship will dwindle and die.
Compromise: Not all parties can get everything they want from this semi-open adoption relationship. That’s when compromise comes in. It’s truly a give-and-take relationship. Each person involved must do some of each in order for it to work effectively and appropriately. Work on this. It can be difficult, but it is necessary and beneficial for all three sides– if the semi-open adoption relationship is what everyone wants.
Respect: All sides of the adoption triad should respect one another. This is such a simple concept, but ultimately important. While it’s important to respect others, it is just as important to respect yourself and your needs. Everyone deserves respect. Remember that– especially during the rough times of the relationship. When you show respect for others, it encourages them to show respect to you in return.
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Reevaluate: You’ll reach a point in your relationship when it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. This is the time to evaluate the compromises and create new ones. This ensures that your relationship will maintain its healthy state, if all members are willing.
Creating a successful semi-open adoption relationship is about respect, hard work, dedication, and understanding. It needs to be a workable relationship from the beginning, with everyone actively participating. If you feel that a semi-open adoption relationship is the right choice for you, move forward with it. Chances are good that you’ll find an adoptive couple looking for the exact same type of relationship.