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Originally Posted By HollyHi,I'm just wondering what other adoptive parent's feel about this issue. I know it's very personal. For me, I don't want my daughter to ever be able to pin-point the "day" or "time" when she learned she was adopted. I just think that if I were her and that happened to me I'd wonder what other big secrets there were about my life. My daughter is almost 3 now. We've never tried to hide or promote her adoption. We've just made sure that she knows she's loved, and we often sing adoption songs and read adoption stories to her. Our goal is to have her know she's adopted without ever remembering when she found out.So what do you think?
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Originally Posted By HollyThanks Paula for the input. It's nice to know that other's share my point of view. Makes me feel like I'm not in left field you know? Answering questions is not as hard as we make it - at least I don't think so. If you only answer the child's question (taking into consideration their age and interest), and don't try to give them the whole story (or what you'd prepared to tell them) I think it all goes better. This goes for any topic too. Let the children take you where they want to go - they'll let you know when they're satisfied. Plus when they're younger they're satisfied much earlier than we are I think!! LOLTake care and best wishes to you too. How fun that we both have two year olds. :o) Our adoption is Semi-open. Thanks again for your comments.Hugs,Holly
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Originally Posted By JuanitaYou mentioned singing adoption songs, can you tell me where youcan find these? We have adopted three beautiful siblings, ages 10, 2, and 11months and would love to sinf adoption songs to them. It has never been a secret that we adopted them, we also have a semi open adoption and the kids will grow up knowing their birth mom.
Originally Posted By HollyThis link can take you to a site where you can purchase such music: This album has been dedicated to birthmothers and it's full of wonderful songs helpful to all of us in adoption. My personal favorite (and the one I sing often) is called, "From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours". It's a beautiful message of adoption. This artist also has written and recorded other songs related to adoption that are not on this album. One I know is from the adoptive parent's perspective called "The Gift". He's also written one from an adoptee's point of view called, "I'm Yours". Best wishes to you!Holly
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Originally Posted By Chrissy in NHHi Holly,My son is 7 years old now and we adopted him when he was just 1 week old. He can't pinpoint the "day". We read all the age appropriate books like "susan and gordon adopt a baby" from sesame steet, "The day we met you"(a great book) and others. We also tell him his own "The day we met you story". He got a kick out that. He is at a stage now where he doesn't talk about it too much anymore. But that is okay, he will when he is ready or when he has more questions. Just read the books and I also say to him "What is the greatest day in our lives"? And he always rolls his eyes and says "The day you adopted me" I know this is long, hope it helps.
Originally Posted By Kimberly SchmittI am a birthmother. I have given birth to six children, three of which I placed for adoption. My oldest is 15 and was born 05/05/85 in Rock Hill, South Carolina. This was a closed adoption. The other two were twins, born 10/21/92. I do know where they are and I have an awesome relationship with their adoptive parents. The reason I am replying to your message is because of the way their parents told them they were adopted. When they were three or four their adoptive parents told them that their mommies tummy was "BROKE", so Jesus put them in my tummy so that their parents could have them. I thought that was the easiest way to explain the reason for adoption. They call me Aunt Kim. And they call my parents Papa and Dee, just like my other three kids do.Hope this has helped.....if you have any other questions, you can e-mail me at KymberKaye@excite.com
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Originally Posted By Missy from WIHello, My husband and I have been blessed with two children through adoption. Our daughter who's three and our son who is 4 1/2 months old. Our daughters adoption is very open. We visit her birth parents and their families and they come to our home as well. She has always referred to her birthparents by their first name. We have always talked about her adoption and read the stories. Having an open relation ship helps to bring up the topic in a natural way. If we are visiting them or they are coming to our house I will ask her who Christa is, she replys "my brithmom". Recently a close relative was expecting a child and we were able talk about the baby being in her tummy, I said "like you were in Christa's tummy". I then let her ask questions and offerd simple answers. I too have been told this is the best possible way to ease them into understanding the concept of adoption.Sorry if that got too long. When your passionate about something you can talk about it forever!Best wishes to you and your family.Missy
Originally Posted By louMy son has known he was adopted even before he could talk-as a matter of fact he is proud of it and we havemade the day he came to us a "SON'S DAY" @ age 4-he couldn't understand why we had Mother's day & Father'sday-so he came up with Son's day. Always be honest andopen with your child,talk when they want to talk and answer the questions you can.She will be fine-my son tells all his friends and teachers,etc. funny thing noone believes him (oh well)- as a matter of fact he makes me feel special when he says that he is glad headopted us...@ 6 months old - I don't think he had a whole lot to say about it - but who am I to argue - I'mglad he adopted us too!!
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Originally Posted By MichelleHi, I was adopted myself and my parents told me all the time that i was adopted and that helped, a lot! my parents never sat me down and told me outright at one time, The always told me and always explaind it. Really it's the best way i have cousind and a neighbor who are adopted and their parents all tolde them the way my parents told me and not once did it fail. I wish you all the luck
My parents told me that I was adopted when I was 2 and 1/2, of course I don't remember this but they have told me the story of how they told me. Because of this I feel like I have always known I was adopted. Therefore, there was no monumental revealing of the fact that I am adopted, it was always just a fact of life and it was never a secret nor was it an issue. We were open about talking about it and sometimes we even joke about my looking like my dad or having the same figure as my mom. However, I've always felt loved and like a true part of my family. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.