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Hello fellow adoptive parents,
I need your help. I have a girlfriend who has been matched with a baby girl, she is over 40 and is being told by a family member that she should not adopt again because of her age.
I am 42 and waiting to be matched. I think 40 something is not to old. If you agree with me, please post your replies. I'm sure it will make my friend feel a lot better about her age.
And to all of you who are over 40 and adopting I say "GOOD FOR YOU". :D
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We have two adopted sons. The oldest is 4 and the youngest will be 7 months on Sunday. Both came to use straight from the Hospital at 1 day old. I am currently 44 and my DW has another decade on me. I think that by being older, it has been better for us and them. We are established in our marriage (Number 20 in July), career and ourselves. I believe that is making us better parents. Remember age is just a state of mind.........
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How great there are so many of us out there! My husband and I will be celebrating our birthdays this month (50,46) and have 2 daughters (5,3). Yes I am probably the oldest mom in my daughter's preschool but I am 'young at heart'. It definitely is an individual issue. It is presumptuous to judge the over 40 crowd, especially since I'm one of them! We all have different strengths (and weaknesses) and that is what makes life so great!
We are older adoptive parents. We have 3 bio children. 25, 24, and 23. All married. Grandbabies #7 and 8 on the way. We have 6 adopted kids. Ages 10 1/2 to 19 months. (got 19 month old as newborn). Our first adoption was only 2 1/2 years ago. Oh yeah, I am 43 and dh is 46. Too old? Naaah! Strange for our 19 month to have 2 neices and 2 nephews older then her? Yeah but it is worth it. I wouldn't trade it for anything. We are more patient then we were with our first 3. It has been great fun the 2nd time around. Did we get a lot of grief? You bet. But now grandparents and other family and friends just see it as natural. We also do foster care so the church members watch for us to see if our "family" is added to this week :)Good luck and God's Blessings to your friend.
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My husband and I are both 47 soon to be 48 and we accepted a referral this week for an infant boy. Age is not the main consideration when looking at desirable qulaities for a potential parent. Sure, level of fitness, stamina things like that are worth consideraiton and I won't say the age thing didn't cross my mnd more than once but what I have lost in youthful vigor , I have gained in patience and wisdom. I plan to take good care of myself so that I can be physcially up to the demands but it is a big world out there and there are lots of people doing amazing things. Adopting at 40 something is more common than you might think. I don't know whay people get overly concerned about the age thing unless it tampers with the life script we are supposed to follow which is to slow down as the years pass and I guess the parenting contradicts that notion. Go for it if you're up for it.
I'm 44 and my husband is 45 and we've just started to fill out our application paper work to adopt from China. I'm hoping we can adopt a baby under 2 yrs old. Is this realistic??????
emptyarms2000
Hello fellow adoptive parents, I need your help. I have a girlfriend who has been matched with a baby girl, she is over 40 and is being told by a family member that she should not adopt again because of her age. I am 42 and waiting to be matched. I think 40 something is not to old. If you agree with me, please post your replies. I'm sure it will make my friend feel a lot better about her age. And to all of you who are over 40 and adopting I say "GOOD FOR YOU". :D
As long as your agency says that they will allow it, sure...it's realistic!
We have adopted seven times...and hoping to adopt an eighth. Just within the last week, we have considered going internationally again. (The last time was over 23yrs ago...our first two babies :) )
I'm rather weary of some of the things going on in domestic adoption these days....so we're just thinking about it---but in my heart, I want to RUN for it!!!! LOL
Good luck and keep us posted!
Sincerely,
Linny
My husband just turned 48 and I am 47. We accepted a referral for an 8 day old baby boy from Guatemala. We were told our ages would not present a problem and so far it has not. I think I am much wiser than I was when I was younger- we have something special to offer from our life experiences!
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Just wanted to let my fellow 40somethings know it IS possible and it DOES happen and it is ALL SO WORTH IT!! Our profile was chosen, our son was born, and we found out all in about a day or so; a whirlwind to be sure. We've been home with him since Jan. 15, and it has been wonderful! Sure we're sleep deprived and working on adjusting our lives to this precious soul (we both work at home, which is a huge plus in many ways, and not such a plus in some others), and there have been and will be sacrifices we'll make, but I for one feel SO much more confident and patient and relaxed than I think I might have felt when I was younger. The important thing is to take care of you as much as you do your little one, work w/your partner so both of you can get sleep from time to time, get some exercise in, even if it's just a short walk once in awhile, and above all, just love, love, LOVE your precious child. BTW, I'm 40, DH is 35, and DS (our first living child) is 6weeks today! 40 something is definitely NOT too late!!
We signed the POA 2 wks. ago and paid the agency to send them to the consulate but we only sent the country fee and the photos which were needed to complete the dossier a wk. ago..So, I am hoping that by now the documents are in Guatemala and before too long we will receive notice that the DNA testing has been done. We'll go visit then .
Hi all,
I've been lurking for a very long time but now is the time to speak up. I will be 42 next week and have a 2 yr.old biological son through IVF. DH and I are now trying to adopt since I can't have anymore. DH is 45 yrs. old. My parents were older parents, they were both 40 when I was born. I can guarantee you that it is not the same today as it was 40 years ago. We don't look like our parents, don't act like them, don't dress like them, and have an amazing amount of energy. Please don't listen to anyone who tells you that you are too old. I can run circles around anyone of my younger friends and I look younger then them also. This generation takes much better care of themselves. We are more mature and know what we want in life. ALl of my friends are in their 30's so no one I'm friends with has had their first in their 20's. You will not be the oldest mom bringing her child to preschool.
Please don't listen to what anyone says. If you know you can handle it, go for it.
Marianne
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My bios are 20 and 21 and my husband and I recently adopted two children. I am 39 years older then my youngest and daddy is 40 years older---WE ARE HAVING A BLAST this time around....Much more so then 20 years ago!
Not sure why there is a big deal---My ex-husband was adopted in the 60's and his Afather turned 40 a few days after his birth.... Heck there was recently a woman in her late 50's or 60's who gave birth by IVF--I personally think that is a biggere issue then adopting in the 40's!
Thanks for your support. I totally agree. I am very active, probably more so than many of my co-workers who are in their 30s. And, as far as anyone asking me if the child is my grandchild- it makes no differnece to me. I quit worrying about what people think of me a long time ago (one of the advantages of age and life experience).