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We are wanting to adopt and have been approved (so far) by CYF but we are still working on our profile. I need to talk to people who are going, have been, or will be going through this process. No one we know in the 'real world' seems really able to relate to us about this because they are not in the same boat. I want to talk to people about anything and everything to do with this - similar to our situation or not. I'm getting quite frustrated because there are no support groups for people like us - who are waiting and waiting always waiting - and the support groups that are out there (like Opan) only cater for those who have already adopted. I want to talk to people about the frustration of having people in my family who do not fully support our adoption decision (we haven't tried ALL fertility options yet - because we are completely happy with the choice we have made) but some just don't accept that. We also want to have contact with the birth family, and we are getting objections from our family about that too. We had a stillborn daughter in 2000, so I have had the pregnancy, and the birth and haven't been able to get pregnant since. I want to talk about the fact that I am sad sometimes, and that I get angry that things have to be sooooo difficult and that nothing ever seems to come easy. I think my mother blames me for not being able to have children, while my brother seems hell bent on populating NZ all on his own, with many different children to many different mothers spread from one end of the country to the other. Okay, it's not really as bad as all that, but on days like today, it feels like it, and I want to talk it out, and no I'm not premenstral, I'm just having a bad day for no reason. Please talk to me - anyone - and not just one comment and never talk again - lets make a real support network here and be there for each other.
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Hi everyone hope you are all fabulous. Just had Jack's 4th birthday party - which has just reminded me now that I must talk to him about what he wants to do for his adoption day - It's coming up in the next week. When does the parting stop ah. As you can see I have changed the picture so that you can see what he looks like as Captain Jack the pirate. So how is Ernest (hope I have spelt that right) now Chelsea. Loving that whole being at home thing? Doing the coffee morning rounds yet? Loubie Lou wonderful to hear from you. You are the focus of our attention now (right ladies). If there is anything you want to ask etc re your profile don't forget to pm us or pop up a notice. I remember a few months before Jack arrived on the scene I totally overhauled the photos as they were advised by the SW that they were too small. Have you asked them if adoptions are up or down at present? Would be interested to know. Have you been keeping in touch with your SW? Let us know and it is wonderful to hear from you. Richie :prop:
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Hello Ladies Well just checking in while Ernie is having his afternoon nap. Great to hear from you Lou-b, glad you're getting on with stuff. I have all my fingers and toes crossed that it will be your turn soon. Adoption in NZ is so different to the UK, if you're ever curious how different - check out the Adoption UK website. Have you considered overseas adoption - I don't know how difficult that is to do from NZ, here it seems to take a long time and cost quite a lot. It is our 7 week anniversary since Ernie came home - and he has changed so much in that time. He can sit up by himself now and even roll over by himself (but only if he's bothered, otherwise he's pretty happy to just lie there face down :arrow: ). He doesn't seem to have got the crawling concept yet but can stand up virtually unaided. He also started proper babbling this week with a definate Dada in there. Mama is just gonna have to wait her turn! We've all had colds this past week - Ernie seems to have recovered, so it's just me that's still sniffling and aching. I'm loving being at home - it's exhausting but I wouldn't swap it. I haven't been to any play-groups yet - they all seem to take place at his morning nap time, so perhaps they're for slightly older kids. I do have neighbours with littlies though so that's good. Also I'm lucky in that hubbie works from home often - which is lovely. Our SW is going to send us the forms to complete for our adoption application in a couple of weeks time - then we send them off to the courts and hope they get heard sometime in the next 6 months. In the meantime I'm chasing up Ernie's SW to get hold of his LifeStory Book as I want to get on with adding to it and showing him the pictures. Christmas is of course looming up and I'm so looking forward to it. It is weird though - Ernie has so many toys already it's hard to know what to get him. Hope you are all well and enjoying some warmer weather. We're buttoning down and it was minus 2 overnight last night. Brrrr. Chelsea xx
Merry Christmas to you all I too just wanted to wish you all well, and say that I am thinking of you. We have been crazy busy, but life is good. Cam is about to experience his second Christmas. He has next to know idea, of course, but loves ripping paper off presents - so it's all good by him. No other news. Hope you are all well, and looking forward to the year ahead. xx Kirsty
Kirsty
Thanks for the Christmas Wishes - they all came true for me. I had a lovely Christmas with my family. Grandson No 1 is 2yrs 10 months and so knows it all already. He was just sooooo into Santa this year, and also into the wrapping, the giving and definintely into the receiving. It was fun. No 2 is 7 months and just wanted the paper and the ribbons. Wasn't too impressed with the toys that popped balls or the Leap Frog that sings and counts and plays lullaby's - much rather try to chew a balloon.
I'm sure Cam will feel loved after lots of family hugs and kisses and spoilt with cute toys. Pretty hard to maintain a routine during the 3 hectic days of Christmas. Hope Mummy has time for an afternoon nap too.
New Year Wishes to you and yours.
Ann
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Well, I have not been on here for over a year...I lost the site when I changed jobs and had only ever bookmarked this site at work, and forgot all about it.I am just stoked for all you guys and gals and your babies, and they look very cute!! I can't imagine what it must be like to have all your dreams and hopes realised. CONGRATULATIONS!:grouphug:I have kind of put adoption out of my mind for about 8 or nine months, trying to do other things and keep myself distracted.We decided enough was enough, we had quite a few mothers looking at our profile and we missed out, and then we had a mother in the Bay of Plenty choose us!!! She changed her mind...so we decided to go for the international adoption and chose China. We went for day three, started the ball rolling, and all of a sudden...they changed the rules for China effective May 2007, our social worker said if we wanted to get in and be judged on the older criteria we had to get in before February to get our profile to China before May. We crammed the application process from six months into one month...it was insane!!!Our documents were sent off in time and our s/w said, 'now comes the hardest part...we wait'...it takes 12 months to two years for China and we were told that is the quickest country to adopt from. Well...in just over a week it will have been a year.I have just tried not to think about it, other than five months ago, contacting our s/w with updates on our work situation and have never had contact from her.I have called and called...finally, now that it is near a year that has passed I am getting annoyed...I went in to the local office and thought I would drop in unannounced...she was not available so I spoke to her boss who advised that it was unacceptable that she hadn't contacted me, at least to return my calls and would get her to call me that day...three days later still nothing...the upside is that every phone message has been logged and notes have been made so at least some of the information is on our file.I spoke to my s/w boss and said 'I am sure there are more pressing files but adoptive parents are very sensitive and I think it's rude that my s/w can't even give me a courtesy call to say sorry too busy for you now but haven't forgotten you'.Of course now, it's been a year...I know I will start getting anxious...we went to China last June to just keep ourselves busy and do something towards the adoption and we were totally fascinated with the culture, and are learning a bit of mandarin, to help us when we get the call to go collect our baby.We have said we would accept from six months (which is the youngest you can get) up to two years, and our baby will most likely be a girl.So...it could happen any day, or it could take as long as a year from now, but at least it's going to happen...so...we...wait...
Hey there and happy new year to you all! I've not been around much lately - just don't have many spare moments. We did have a lovely christmas and although the boy wonder didn't really have a scooby what it was about he certainly enjoyed all the fuss. Welcome back Raven and I hope your wait for a little one from China passes quickly. Well done for getting through before the rule changes. I have some knowledge of the China process as we did initially look into that. Have you joined any of the online support groups for China. I know there is a UK based organisation and of course there will be lots of US ones too. I think the UK one is called CACH, they have a website and just talking to others who are also enduring the long wait might be helpful. I understand there is also a US site (I think called Rumour Queen) that seems to talk mostly about guessing the likely wait time. Of course you might just find it easier to avoid sites like that altogether. I know from friends also in the process that they find it easier to switch off completely for periods of time. We finally got Ernie's lifestory book from his social worker, bit of a disappointment to be honest. We will have to re-do it ourselves. On the up our court papers have been submitted so now we sit and wait for a court date - could be 3 months, could be 6 months. That's about it - best get off to bed now seeing as lie-ins are a thing of the past! Best wishes to you all. Chelsea
:coffee: Hi LoubielouGoodness - it's the end of the year already. Lovely to hear from you and I hope you're enjoying some lovely warm kiwi weather. We're freezing over here! What's news for us.....? Well, Ernie is getting to be a big boy - he's walking these days, but only in the last couple of months so still doing that bow-legged stagger - very cute. We're trying to decide how "high risk" it would be to put up the tree this year - given he is now mobile and those decorations are gonna look pretty tempting. I decided that having waited 10 years to be "mum" that going back to work wasn't something I wanted to do right now. So we're pretty much "poor but happy". Happy Christmas wishes to you all from us up here in the frozen northern hemisphere. Chelseaps. did enjoy watching the AllBlacks on tv at the weekend v England (& Wales the week before).
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Hi all,I check in every so often to see what is going on. I lost my password a while back, when I changed pc, so I've just reset it. Glad to hear that everyone is wonderful and Merry Christmas to you all. Chelsea, Kirsty, Loubie Lou and everyone (oh and Kune) I still think of you all. NZ Raven I am thrilled to hear that you have taken the bull by the horns and decided on your own destiny. We may not be around these days, but we would love to hear how you get on. We are just crusing here. Jack (our son who is adopted) turned 5 recently and started school. Initially he said is very "much harder then school" but he does appear to be loving it. He was really ready for it. We were also ready to try and contact his birth mother again. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, she decided not to register for the elections (which technically you have to by law) so we have been unable to find her. The SW says short of looking at the list (and googling her name) we will be unable to find her. I figured that this would be our last chance as she may decide to marry by the next elections. Last chance is to send a letter to her family home address which will literally say please contact social welfare - as they can't run the risk of someone else opening the mail. The mystery continues we would really love to hear from her and Jack asks after her. I've gone a bit gar gar over Christmas and spent far too much money on the kids. I just loved it as a child - nothing better than the anticipation on Christmas morning. I just love seeing it in there faces. Merry christmas to you all - like I say I think of you guys often. Keep well. Richie 68.:grouphug:
i have honestly been sitting here for the last 3hours:eek:
reading though this thread wheww. wow what amazing stories and struggles,
I'm from Welly's and we are in the process of getting "accepted"(if thats what you call it) as adoptive parents, i mean about to go to the seminar days.
anyway i got to go to bed-- i'll write a little intro in the next couple of days.
Ange
:flower: Hi AngeWelcome! Sorry, I don't check on here so much since our son arrived - just don't get the time! I hope you've since been on the seminar and found out much more about adoption in NZ. I'm afraid I'm not much use on that front as am a kiwi living in the UK and have adopted via the UK system. I do know that it is an emotional roller coaster wherever you do it though. Our son is now a big 2 year old and has been with us since he was 8 months. He is wonderful and we are very lucky to be his Mum and Dad.I wish you all the best on your journey - do keep us posted, I will try to check in here more often.Chelsea :love:
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Yes sorry I obviously don't check it as often as I thought - despite having this set up in my favourites. Hope that it is all going well for you. I would love to know what the stats are like these days - e.g how many adoptions in NZ and Wellington area. I am also from the Wellington region so I have dealt with the same staff as you - though this was over 5 years ago. Thank you for dropping a post we would love to hear how you get on. Loubie Lou - still thinking of you. Remember you can ask for them to review your profile and give you some ideas (we did - we made the pictures bigger - made a huge difference). Also remember to keep in touch with them - ring them up for no reason just say hi. Kune I have been trying to get a hold of Jack's BM - we recently sent the letter - it had to be written in cryptic - no last names no physical address - so she either thinks I'm a mad stalker or does not understand who the letter was from. I basically said I'd love to "catch up and hear how she is getting on" - and that was all I could say - just in case someone opened the letter. Very frustrating I so wished she would get in touch with us. :woohoo: Hope everyone is wonderful and give those you love tonight a cuddle. Love Richie.