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I got an email a bit ago from Cupcake's Mom. It was a mass email with just one or two sentences and a couple pictures. We don't have any schedule for visits or communication so sometimes I don't know if I'm supposed to respond!
If I do, is it just with a "Thanks!" or do I launch into a big update on me? Ask questions? I don't want to overstep or anything so I don't know if it was her opening the door to an email. I don't want to turn every little mass emailed update into a big communication if that's not what she wants.
Also,before I received that email I sent her an E-Card for Mothers Day (I don't have her address to send a real one) and she responded with a Thank You card email.
Before that was the visit in April - so there's our history for the past couple months.
And yes, I know, I overthink! I should probably just write back!
But do you think she's offended that I haven't yet?
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Oh girl! Writer her! Remember you guys are building a relationship that will allow for MORE VISITS and more interaction together. The more frequent correspondence you have the more of a chance to get to know each other and build a better relationship for your daughter.I would be thrilled to get an email back. And you know me...I'd nudge ya to do more, like say you love the pictures and would like to send cupcake cards that you have been saving...Can I have your address????"This is a perfect opportunity....hmmm???
The few times I have gotten something like that out of the blue, I have always responded with a quick "Thanks! I love them! Thanks for thinking of me, hope to hear from you soon!" I put myself in the other position, and I love to get anything back from DD's a-mom in acknowledgement. Plus you want her to know that random pics in the inbox is a big YAY!!!:cheer: So WRITE! Doesn't have to be a novel :)
Another vote for write back! When I send out pics of the kids, I only send them to friends/family that I think will enjoy getting them...and it would hurt my feelings if I didn't get a response telling me how cute and awesome they are :) It doesn't have to be a long email...just a few lines letting her know that you got them and liked them.
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Okay, so I just put on my big girl panties and wrote her back (it had been about a week, but I HAVE been having the computer issues so there's that). I thanked her for the beautfiful pics and said how much I love getting them and also thanked her for the teeth update :) hahaIt's off and sent so I feel good about it - phew!Oh, and Denise, I would LOVE to be your seudo bmom! You know that!!!! :love:
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I'm glad you wrote back! We're in an open adoption with DD's birthmom that started out semi-open (with no plans for visits, just everything sent from us through the agency - what she originally wanted.) I'm so happy that she ended up wanting visits - it's been so important to DD.
But... Since we didn't have a "plan" before placement, it's been hard to know what to do. I never know how much contact is too much or too little, and I don't want to impose or push her. I just try to live up to the original # of letters/pictures per year plus we've since added visits. And then I send extra, but if she doesn't respond, I back off.