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on January 25, 2008 our pre adoptive foster son was placed with us. We were told many stories and unfortunately trusted so many of them. My whole identity was changed with this wonderful boy. It hasn't been easy but as everyone I loved and knew eventually let him into their hearts and we continued on what seemed like an extra long path we tried our very best to trust that it would still work out.
Now although adoption wasn't taken off of the table in court yet it seems to be out of the SW mind. As if a switch was changed in her head the same switch does not exist in me or my husband or my families. Nor does it exist in this great boy. Somehow she expects that it should and I should be eager to work on the new plan. I am trying very hard to help in ways I feel are best for this boy but I am also trying to protect myself and him. every time I do this I feel bad assumptions are made of me and I am the one looked at as the bad guy.
This is true torture to help in my worse nightmare, I am trying. My husband is providing rides and I am trying to email the BM about his needs. Unfortunately I guess I am supposed to be better at this.
From my perspective I can't see why I am not given more support instead of so much judgement.
I don't know what to say but I know I need some hugs to get through this!
Thank you!!:thankyou:
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Completely empathize with you as I had a FS reunite with his family after being with me for 4 YEARS (came to me at 21 months old). I won't lie, it is one of the hardest things I ever went through. Thankfully, my FS and I still see each other (I get him one weekend a month). PM me if you want to "talk", I understand. Good luck!
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Katrina,
Years ago, our family went through this same type of thing with two very little ones (sibs). After one year, the foster care agency admitted, 'I guess we did misrepresent ourselves..'
Gee....so much for our heartache. Years later, the children were eventually adopted by others far away from here. Our lives had gone in a different direction; but the pain we went through is still a topic of conversation between dh and I from time to time......
"How do you find a good private agency after this?"
It can be done. And, IMO, you tell yourself that you won't adopt a baby unless s/he's already born and relinquishments are signed.
There was a time I felt much like you. I thought we'd never adopt----it was just too hard. Eventually, we adopted infants again. Life went on with them and our family is happy and complete.
If you'd like to pm me, I'll be glad to give some suggestions. But we finally learned to never try to adopt with foster/adopt again. It was just too unpredictable and painful to go through again.
Most Sincerely,
Linny