Here I am again

Yes. I believe I have. I would highly suspect while you had your first sn child you developed some (if not a significant amount of) PTSD. *I* denied that *I* could have it for some time until I developed anxiety attacks---even after the child had left. I'd never had such a thing and was totally shocked by it all; yet, there it was.... When your body and soul are used to the CONSTANT trauma from people who are abusive, it sort of sets your brain into a separate mode all its own. Those external triggers of constant manipulation, lying, stealing, sexual acting out cause your brain to go into 'survival mode' and react in a way to help you get through the presentation of those triggers. Even with therapy, the your reactions can remain. They can/will get better in time----especially with counseling (and especially counseled with EMDR), but they can still come up again. The remedy is knowing when they're coming about and how to deal with them early on. If your new child is acting out---even with just a glimpse of what your past child had done, it's likely your brain will go to those same techniques it did to survive. I would highly suggest you talk with a counselor who's dealt with parents of abusive and/or RAD children. A counselor who's licensed to perform EMDR would be the best, IMO. I wish you well. I personally know this isn't easy to re-live and remedy so that you can go on; but it's possible. Please feel free to pm me if you'd like. Most Sincerely, Linny