Common issues impacting ALL adoptees?

A new article has been published entitled 'Adoptees; lucky escape or forgotten victims?' It probes the idea that some adoptees suffer from society's assumption that adoption is a perfect, problem-solving event for all parties. It may be of interest to everyone on this forum. It is available here: [url=http://www.thinkscotland.org/thinkpolitics/articles.html?read_full=12063&article=www.thinkscotland.org]ThinkScotland - Thinking, talking and acting for Scotland in Europe[/url] It deals with issue facing adoptees, which are often overlooked or completely neglected.

Hello, im unable to understand how adoption per se could be any different.There are good and bad adoptions and what happens is all over the scale in terms of the events that took place before and after the adoptionI was black market and sold into adoption in the mid 1930's. It was a different era.Unmarried women giving birth to children were advised to give up the child through adoption, then go home, forget about it and move on with their lives.It was an era when black market facilitators were happy to provide wealthy, childless couples with infants. The children were unwanted and after all a commodity that could be sold. It was a fee for service part of adoption.Birth records in many states have been closed since the 1940's. It has only been recently that some states have opened birth records.The adoption records at the time of my adoption were sealed and my a-fatherindicated that he intended never to tell his children they were adopted. This in spite of the fact that he bought 2 children.I'm unsure if it would have been better to have been left in an orphanage of the time, or if it was better to have been adopted.There were many rules within that era in terms of children. "Children were seen, but not heard." The word of adults was law. Children were secondary and as such didn't have much value in terms of the daily operation of their parents lives.In my own case there was every form of abuse. There was not much concern in regards to how this affected the children, it was a matter of making sure the children conformed.That is not to say, all adoptions during this period were difficult. The stories taken from the Orphan Train adoptees provide an eye opening history of adoption in that era. The literature concerning adoptions, seems to indicate that female adoptees got better treatment than the males. Im sure there is something to be said on both sides.Just some thots to share.I wish you the best.

:wings: Karei sat in her bedroom at the orphanage, gazing over the window sill. Tears streamed down her face. A lonely sparrow sat on the opposite side of the sill, cooing as its feathers ruffled. Clutching her yellow faceless bunny, memories of her parents flashed in her mind. Why were they taken? What did she do to merit loneliness? A soft knock at the door startled her. Wiping her tears on her sleeve, she turned to greet the housemaid. Hello little miss, how are you today?Ӕ The housemaid was always so kind and gentle to Karei. Forcing a smile, Karei grasped the aging womans hand. ғWill you always be here with me? Her pure innocence could not be ignored. The housemaid beamed at the tiny child, ԓOf course dear child, I will never stray from you. ԓCartua! I need to see you downstairs! The director of the orphanage was on her usual rant. The housemaid relinquished her grip from the tiny childԒs hand. Grinning, she mouthed to Karei, IӒll see you soon. Her smile faded as she left the room; the director was not a pleasant woman. Cartua rushed down the stairs and into the mess hall. The children were out of control! Some were throwing their food, while others were crying and screaming. It seemed when a situation got out of hand, it was CartuaԒs job to calm things down. Hoisting herself onto the nearest table, Cartua screamed a single word, Stop!Ӕ The children froze, terrified at the sound. Spotting Cartua, their faces lit up with delight as they dropped their food and ran to her side. The children grasped at her clothes, and she bent down to scoop up two of the smaller children as she ushered the other children into the playroom. The director sighed in relief as order was restored. Cartua quietly exited the playroom, and bounded after the director who was briskly walking back to her office. Ms. Gonzalez! Ms. Gonzalez! Please, I really need to speak to you!Ӕ Cartua sprinted after her with vigor. Carlita Gonzalez spun around, disgust evident on her face. Yes Cartua, what do you want?Ӕ Her words spewed with revulsion for the woman standing before her. Ms. Gonzalez, I wanted to speak to you about what we discussed yesterday.Ӕ Cartua spoke with haste as she glanced upstairs where Karei was waiting for her. Cartua, I have reviewed your file for adoption, and even though you are married you do not have a sufficient inflow of money.Ӕ Cartua felt her heart fall to her feet. Karei was her daughter, no matter what some papers said. Glancing at Carlita, her next words were spoken in a hushed tone, Is there anything I can do? I need to bring Karei home tonight. I do not think she will make it here another night.Ӕ Carlita had a reputation for being a monster, but in reality, she had a heart of gold when it came to the children she cared for. She glimpsed down the hallway, and gestured for Cartua to come into her office. Once inside, she strode to her desk and pulled out Kareis file. She had seen the long conversations that existed between Karei and Cartua. She watched in silence as Karei met CartuaҒs husband. But most importantly, Karei loved Cartua and looked forward to her visits every day. Karei never came down from her bedroom so Cartua came upstairs with her meals, and read her stories every night before she fell asleep. All the children in the orphanage knew Karei was a special child.Ӕ Kareis parents were both killed in a car accident and Karei, who was in the backseat, was ejected without a scratch. Since the horrendous accident a year ago, the only person Karei had clung too was Cartua. Carlita sat down in her chair, the file lying on the desk in front of her. For the sake of the child, maybe she should approve CartuaҒs request. Cartua gazed at Carlita anxiously, waiting to see what her next move would be. It was then a soft shuffling was heard outside the door. Cartua opened the door to a surprise. There standing in the doorway clutching her yellow bunny was Karei. She gestured for Cartua to pick her up. A radiant smile appeared on Cartuas face once more as she lifted Karei up; Karei rested her head on her shoulder. It was then Carlita made her final decision. Picking up the stamp, she stamped CartuaҒs file as approved and handed it to her. Cartuas eyes welled with tears; she was now a mother. Kissing Karei on the forehead, she squeezed her and whispered, ғI am your new mommy. Is that okay? Karei nodded her head and said, ԓI love you mommy. Resting her head on CartuaԒs shoulder again, she felt the effects of the sandman creeping up to claim her. Carlita who had been watching the whole time said, Say hello to your new family for me.Ӕ Carlita rubbed Kareis back as she drifted off to sleep on the shoulder of her new mother. Tonight she would sleep in a home full of yellow bunnies with a family who would never leave her side.

When I was pregnant and 17 I was told keeping my child would be selfish and destructive and it would be for the best interest of the child if I put him up for adoption. Putting my baby up for adoption was selfish and destructive and it definitly wasnt in the best interest of either my child or myself. I found my 36 year old son less than three months ago and the minute I saw him I had this intense love that I have for my other children. He asked how can you love me so much you don't even know me. I told him I have loved you your whole life, you just didn't know it. I always regretted letting him go, but I did not know that I had a choice as a minor. I look at him and I am sad that I missed 36 years of his life and I want all those years back. I am just as angry as he is that we will never get those years back. I am grateful we have the rest of our lives to share with one another, but we are struggling with the same issues as most other birth mom and adoptees struggle with when they reunite. If I had to make that choice again I would never let my child go, no matter what.