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Originally Posted By Susan WardHow is everyone surviving the holidays? How are you doing? How are your kids doing? Last year, Hannah was at her most horrible regarding her RAD (reactive attachment disorder), so our holidays were hell. This year, now that she has healed, I'm enjoying it much, much more. Even though she's healed, I'm still trying to lower my expectations, and to keep her routine in place (as much as possible), along with her strong sitting. How's everyone else doing? Any tips?Susan Ward, mama to Hannah, age 10
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We too, are looking forward to a good holiday season. Like Hannah, my son successfully resolved his attachement disorder last year, thanks to Dr. Art. He continues to do quite well. We also try to keep things more low key. Life in general can be overstimulating to my son, no need to add more to that. Last year, Santa had his gifts magically appear one at a time under the tree. Mainly this was because of the RAD, and we felt he couldn't handle too much good at once. Well he loved it so much, that he's hoping Santa will do it again this year. My son just spent almost an hour playing Santa for Dad and I. He dressed in red sweats and kept filling a pillowcase with toys - to give us as gifts. He was getting great joy out of surprising us. I don't think we can get any better gift than that. Just wish I had the videocamera going when he jumped into the room dressed in his rendition of Santa.Dimas Mom
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We went to my folks' house for Thanksgiving - no big issues, but took awhile after the trip for Ralph to settle back down. Even though we keep Ralph fairly well "regimented", the experience just really underscored for me the importance of structure for these kids....he really craves it. He is totally excited about Christmas. As a nine year old, he has some inklings about the "reality" of Santa, but so desperately wants to experience a real childhood Christmas. He is slightly worried that he'll be getting a lump of coal - guess there is a conscience working there somewhere! :) It will be fun.
Originally Posted By JerryAt least new for our family. This will be our first christmas with our 3 children. We have worked very hard on a household regimen as well. It's been a difficult transition period, but it's getting better. We've been very "by the book" with the love and logic consequences. I can see where it's the only possible way we can parent our new children. Christmas will be different for our kiddo's this year. We don't believe it's appropriate to buy "everything" they want. Never done that with any child we've parented. We've gotten all the little hints, "Since this is our first christmas with you I bet you'll want to get us a lot of presents. No, what made you think that?" To which a little re-strategizing begins!!!LOL!!! I asked them how many wise men brought the baby Jesus presents, and without even answering that they caught the drift....."You mean we're only getting 3 presents!!!" When they're a little older we'll teach them the idea of a gift "budget." The precedent was set last year when the kids had 4 diffierent families and agencies buying them gifts. From what we've heard it was a feeding frenzy. The kids are very competitive to begin with, and it just seems to be a little worse when gifts are involved. Something else I've noticed with one of the children is that they seem to have an acute sensitivity to contact with their skin. Mostly with clothes...doesn't like long sleeves, long pants, hats, socks, and so forth. They will also seek out the softest stuffed animals, and prefers to hold my arm as opposed to my hands (because the skin on my hands is rough). This child has had the most severe acting out symptoms of the 3 with BP 1, and ODD (Only to name a few of the dx). This kiddo is the animal lover of the group. Showing patience and compassion with all of the animals we have around. I'm not quite sure of the significance of all this, but thought I would mention it to see if anyone else might know.
Some of the things you mention remind me of my son: sensitivity to clothing, touch. Seeking soft, cuddly things. Could be indicators of a sensory integration disorder. To evaluate,you'll need to contact an OT trained in sensory integration. A regular OT won't be able to assess or treat sensory integration (even if they tell you they can!). Other signs could be poor motor coordination (a little clumsy), poor balance, poor handwriting/drawing, easily overstimulated. There's lots more I'm missing. My son is doing quite well with his OT. Been going for several months and we already notice a difference. Good luck! DimasMom
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HI Jerry - I caution you not to expect too much from school personnel. Few have any inkling on sensory processing disorders. We wasted 3 years with my son by dealing only with school therapists. Not only did they not treat his disorder appropriately, but greatly increased his frustration. He hated going to OT - the therapist did not know how to treat SI, she just battled him to make him do handwriting. Now that he's working outpatient with the right OT, using the right tools - he loves OT and the handwriting resources they have to offer. Also, last year the school tested him out of OT, the assessment they chose supposively showed an 8 year old with the motor skills of a 12 year old. I now know that they simply did the wrong test, they picked the only area of motor skills that he has strengths in (visual motor). In most other measures he's at the 2nd percentile or lower. While getting OT may mean going outpatient, even for school related issues, it's well worth it. My son misses 1/2 day of school twice a month to go to Buffalo for therapy (2 1/2 hour trip) - but he loves it. And we really are seeing the benefits. Maybe this summer, he'll finially ride that 2 wheel bike. More practically, he's doing better in math now that he writes his problems on gridded paper (1 number per square) and is using Callerobics at home (music program) for handwriting and they always provide him with lined paper to write on. Good luck and keep us updated. Dimas Mom