My Search for Self
When I was 17 years old, I had made up my mind that I was going to enlist in the US Army when I graduated from high school. To my surprise, I came across a paper clipped receipt for an adoption filing attached to my birth certificate. Not knowing what this was going to lead to, I went in search of who I could be. It was then that the pieces started to fall into place. My birth certificate was dated a year after I was born. That, I came to find out, was because my birth mother had the right to stop the proceedings within one year, but did not. It was not until after I was able to contact her that I came to find out that she had wished to do such, but my birth father did not give the paperwork to do so until after the required time had expired. Being so distraught by the fact that my life had been turned upside down and inside out. I refused to talk to my adoptive parents for three months. After that time my adopted mother came to me one day and asked what was wrong? After telling her that I had found the receipt attached to my birth certificate. She went and talked to my adoptive father about the predicament that had arisen. They then returned to advise me that they would help me in my quest to find my family. By a sheer stroke of luck, a relative from a nearby town was an expert in this kind of thing. It started by them knowing the location of what hospital I was born in and the date. It being a state hospital that was in the process of closing and the medical records where to be destroyed. It was my luck that he had to know one of the ladies that had worked in the medical records division and was still there. On an informal visit he asked her for some basic information as to who was admitted to the maternity ward for the days prior to my birth. From that he was able to track down my birth mother and through divorce and marriage records that are public he was able to find her.
He was very polite and respectful of her and arranged a meeting with the two of us. In attending, I came to find out that I had five additional brothers and a sister. I understand how it was done and who helped may not be viewed in the best of light. But the outcome has been well worth the effort. Although not typical of how things should be done or are done or just is the merit of how difficult it is. As I know how lucky I was. If it had been at a later time there would have been no such records viable to search since they would have been destroyed. I feel lucky to have been given the opportunity to have such luck in such a strange twist of fate. My only suggestion is that any resource that you may have is better to be used in the correct way. As I found, never turn down anyone or thing that may help you in your search. As I currently ponder how to address my feelings and what to write to my daughter who I have had no contact with in all most 19 years, I hope to draw from what I learned in my experiences of my life, and what I went through in my search as I reach out to her. As you read this, I hope to offer hope in your search and that you will also find meaningful results as I have.