It amazes me, sometimes, how archaic some of our systems are. We’re a young country, the good ‘ole US of A is. And we were born of free-thinking people who wanted nothing more than for each individual to be given all the rights that other individuals have.

Our country came about because of a desire for freedom from unrighteous rule. Yet, here we are, 240 years after gaining our independence, and some of our laws have become so convoluted, complicated, and contaminated that we are enforcing exactly the opposite of what our founding fathers and so many others fought so hard for.

How is it that we have forgotten that “all men are created equal,” and that we are each “endowed by [our] Creator with certain unalienable rights”? What are those rights?  “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Further stated in the Declaration of Independence is that the means to secure these rights is the creation of government. That’s right. The government is supposed to ensure that each one of us gets a fair shot at life (I could go into the rights of unborn children, but that’s for another time), we each are blessed with freedom, and that we each can go after our happiness. Or at least, that’s what the Revolutionaries had in mind.

Of course, often our rights are stomped out because of the illegal or unethical actions of another individual. That’s sad—but that’s not our government’s fault. What is the fault of our government is that there are still states in which adoptees are not given open access to their birth records.

Some argue that opening adoption records would be stealing away the rights of birth mothers who placed children for adoption on the condition of anonymity. My argument:  That should have never happened. Even still, states that have opened birth records have offered continued “protection” for birth mothers by allowing the filing of “no contact” forms. I’d venture to bet that there’s not a single adoptee who would have a desire to contact a birth parent who doesn’t want contact. Some already feel rejection to various degrees simply because they were relinquished. They would not willingly be blasted with further rejection by trying to contact someone who doesn’t want it.


Let’s stop dilly-dallying and get legislation changed so we come more in compliance with American values. There’s far too much secrecy in our world globally and in our individual lives.  Let’s rid our world (that means individuals and families) of shame and open up our lives in a loving and supportive way.

I know we can’t all join hands and sing Kumbaya, I realize we have differences and there are some parts of our lives that we just want to move on from. But if we all take the attitude of making life a little happier for everyone around us, we’ll be able to pull up our bootstraps and do some hard things.  When we do, we’ll find that we are actually blessed with a sense of relief and peace ourselves.

For a more scientific approach to this topic, take a look at this blog post by The Institute for Family Studies.