Pregnant and Thinking About Adoption: Gathering Information and Exploring Your Options

This information was taken directly from Child Welfare Information Gateway’'

Gathering Information and Exploring Your Options

Gathering information, consulting with others, and thoughtfully exploring all your options will help you make a fully informed decision. Reading this publication can get you started. Other sources of information and support are described below.

The Internet. If you are just beginning to research your options, the Internet can be helpful. You can explore the Internet using search terms such as “unplanned pregnancy,” “adoption options,” “parenting,” and “adoption birth mother” (or “birth father”) to name a few. Try to visit trustworthy websites (see the resources listed at the end of this publication). You also may want to look at blogs and discussion forums that include first-person accounts and may provide insights into the adoption process and what others have experienced.

Keep in mind: Information on the web can be biased or inaccurate. Try to look at several websites and blogs and note varied points of view as well as common themes. In addition, be aware that some dishonest online groups may try to take advantage of pregnant women at a vulnerable time.

Books. Like the Internet, books can let you find and digest information in private. To get a complete view of adoption, you may want to look at books that present different perspectives, including those of parents who placed their children for adoption, parents who adopted children, children and adults who were adopted, and parents raising children in specific situations (for example, single parents or teen parents).

Trusted friends and family members. It can be helpful to talk through your feelings and options with a trusted family member or friend. Try to find someone who will listen and won’t pressure you into making a decision that doesn’t feel right.

Keep in mind: While it’s good to talk things through with friends and family, ultimately, the decision is yours to make.2

Counselors. A trained counselor can help you to not only understand your options and their long-term implications, but also explore your feelings about those options. You can find professional counselors— including therapists and social workers—at public departments of social services, local health or mental health centers and hospitals, and adoption agencies. Counselors also may be religious leaders, including pastors, rabbis, or others associated with a place of worship. Your doctor, friends, or family members may be able to refer you to a professional counselor. Referral services also can be found through local United Way organizations. (Try calling 211 or visiting http://211us.org/.) No matter where you go, look for a counselor who is experienced in working with pregnant women and who treats you with sensitivity and respect.

Keep in mind: It’s important to find a counselor who can answer your questions in an unbiased way and who doesn’t stand to gain from the decision you make. Some counselors may be predisposed toward one option (for example, due to professional affiliations), or they may have other people’s interests in mind (for example, prospective adoptive parents waiting to find an infant available for adoption). As such, some women prefer to find counselors that are not associated with an adoption agency or lawyer to lessen the likelihood of being pressured toward adoption.

Adoption agencies and adoption lawyers.’ If you are leaning toward adoption, talking with someone at a licensed adoption agency or with a lawyer who specializes in adoption may be helpful to learn more about the adoption process. (See below for more information on selecting agencies and adoption lawyers.)

Keep in mind: Talking to an agency or lawyer does not mean that you’re promising to place your child for adoption but rather serves as another way to collect information. Do not sign any legal papers until you have made up your mind to develop an adoption plan.

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Resource

Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2014). Are you pregnant and thinking about adoption? Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau.

Citations

2 In some States, a minor parent must have consent from his/her parents to place a child for adoption. See Information Gateway’s Consent to Adoption at https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/consent.cfm.