It’s Thanksgiving time again. It’s a time to give thanks and be grateful for what we have. For some, it’s a reminder of what we don’t have or what we have lost. It’s a personal choice. I have a lot to be thankful and grateful for. I know that. But as an adoptee who grew up in a chaotic household, one in which I was abused by an older adoptive brother, I don’t want to be told what I should or shouldn’t be thankful for, and I know many adoptees who feel the same way. Here are five reasons you shouldn’t tell an adoptee to be thankful.