6 Things I Wish You Knew About Birth Moms

Many people don't really understand birth moms or what it means to be one, so here are 6 things I wish you knew about birth moms.

Lindsey Olsen March 19, 2018
article image

Scientifically, there is not a lot of studies about birth mothers. Most people looking to understand adoption look at the adopted child and the adoptive family. And the majority of media outlets and entertainment that depict adoption don’t usually don’t show us in the best light. So as one of those woman, there are 6 things I’d like you to know about birth mothers.

1. Placing our children is our way of trying to be good mothers. It’s not a cop out or a decision we make on a whim. We’re trying to do what we think is best for our child

2. We don’t place our children because we don’t love them or don’t want them. Admittedly, some do place for those reasons, but not many. How many women do you know would not get an abortion so carry a child for 9-months and not care for their child? We just want them to grow up to be happy and be given the best life possible.

3. We’re not monsters. Yeah, a lot of us have issues like drug addictions, abuse in the home, and mental illnesses, but we’re not all bad people. Our circumstances are not what define us; it’s our character. And if you know someone who was brave enough to place their child, I’m willing to bet they’re not all that bad. Such an act shows too much empathy and humility to be labelled so harshly.

4. A lot of the time, we don’t want to share our experience, not because we’re ashamed, but because of how we think we’ll be perceived. The awkward silences, the abruptly ended conversations, the looks of pity are a lot to deal with.

5. Other times, we really want to talk about our experience, not because placing a child is glamorous or honorable, but because it was necessary and it’s shaped us into who we are. It’s not to be prideful or to one-up anyone else’s hardships, it’s just part of who we are, and a lot of us are proud of how far we’ve come

6. Yes, a lot of us made some poor choices, but we’re human. We still hurt. We still mourn. We still struggle. Regardless or the decisions we previously made or may still be making, we’re trying to get through this thing called life just like everyone else. We’re just struggling through it differently.

Long story short, we’re normal people. We do average things just like the average Joe down the street. We have school work, jobs, families, hopes, dreams, and promising futures. Just. Like. You.

author image

Lindsey Olsen

Lindsey Olsen is a birth mother from sunny California, where she currently lives with her husband Steve (also referred to as Bud). She loves singing, going for walks in warm weather, looking out the passenger side window on long road trips, and eating. . .everything. Her favorite things are her family, her faith, her cowboy boots, and food. She has aspirations of becoming a marriage and family counselor so she can help other birth mothers find confidence, comfort, and beauty in their identities as the amazing women they are.


Want to contact an adoption professional?

Love this? Want more?

Claim Your FREE Adoption Summit Ticket!


The #1 adoption website is hosting the largest, FREE virtual adoption summit. Come listen to 50+ adoption experts share their knowledge and insights.

Members of the adoption community are invited to watch the virtual summit for FREE on September 23-27, 2019, or for a small fee, you can purchase an All-Access Pass to get access to the summit videos for 12 months along with a variety of other benefits.

Get Your Free Ticket


Host: ws1.elevati.net