8 Things That Make A Family

Forgiveness can go hand in hand with grace sometimes. Often forgiveness may be difficult to give; it may even be undeserved. Sometimes forgiveness is given even when it is not preceded with an apology. Being a family means constantly forgiving. It means forgiving and forgetting - for the big things and little things.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines loyalty as “unswerving in allegiance." Family means standing by each other and being faithful to all members of the family no matter what happens in life. It is one of the most beautiful, secure feelings to know that your family will be there for you through all of life’s ups and downs.

Respect makes a family happy, whole, and thriving. We may not always agree with the choices our family members make on a day-to-day basis or in life, however, family respects and cherishes those differences. Our differences are what make us special. Family is a lab for learning how to deal with those who are different from us; those who hold different views, think differently, act differently or see the world through a lens we may not. Respect means we do not just tolerate those differences, but cherish, value, and learn from one another.

Family means supporting the members throughout their lives. It may be as little as making time to go to all of their performances, games, or special days at school. It may be as big as being by their side caring for them at the end of their lives. Family means knowing the members of it will always be there for you supporting your choices, life paths, as well as the things and people you value. Support means getting to know and loving your family members spouses, friends, career, and interests.

Trust is one of the most important values in our family. It is what allows us to take risks, dream big, and show up every day being vulnerable, honest, and able to share our hopes and fears. Family above all else never breaks that trust. If trust is broken, family is also the safe place to admit your fault and be forgiven and given grace. Trust allows us to grow and thrive and find healthy, safe relationships outside of our families.

True vulnerability is intimacy. True intimacy can not be had without vulnerability. Your family is the one place in the world you can just be you. You can be vulnerable enough to let them know your thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, and problems. Family is vulnerable enough to admit fault, seek forgiveness, and know you will be loved with open arms. Being raw and open is so hard for so many people. Many times this is due to them lacking a family that was vulnerable and real with one other. Being vulnerable allows you to be whole as a person and family.

Family means unconditional love. My family knows there is nothing they can do, say, or believe - no way they will behave, or a choice they will make - that will cut them off from the others' love and acceptance. Unconditional love means we embrace family member’s choices, marriages, careers, decisions, friends, choices - whether they are the same ones we would make or not. Unconditional love is one of the strongest bonds in a family. It is what keeps us together through the good times and bad knowing that no matter what happens in life, we will always have each other.