I’m not certain why, but all the talk of my friends and my “Bigs” — Sunshine and Pepper– is about adoption lately. It seems to run in cycles: we just march along a while and then, suddenly, a surge of adoption talk.
At home, it has probably been precipitated by the infant foster child we are caring for. I think both Sunshine and Pepper have started thinking more about the birth family that brought this child into the world instead of only thinking about the waiting adoptive home. Sunshine (13) asked me if I ever regretted not being pregnant. I answered her truthfully: only when I was young and thought all my dreams should come true. I reiterated to her that had I been able to conceive, I wouldn’t have these 5 children who clearly are meant to be mine.
A young friend of ours had expressed concern that she might have trouble conceiving as several family members had; at 15, she already has a large ovarian cyst. I told her that she can count on this: Whatever is, is what is meant to be. I said that when I was about her age, I had it in my heart that I would adopt. Back then, I thought I would give birth to one or two kids and then adopt the rest. Having that thought in mind, when I first heard the word “infertile” at age 19, it was not such a terrible shock. When I met my love of my life (finally) at age 36, adoption was an early topic of discussion.
I know everyone comes to adoption in their own way, and with our Littles, we certainly came in the back door. We thought our family was complete with Sunshine and Pepper; God had other plans. A year later, we cannot imagine life without them; they are so sweet and so like us somehow. Yes, having three strong-willed rambunctious little ones can be a challenge, but the blessings outweigh it ten-fold.
And somehow, miraculously, the fact of these three being biological half-siblings, has somehow fulfilled a longing in both Sunshine and Pepper for biological unity. It does not make logical sense, but they have both wondered about their own half-siblings so often that these three have somehow filled in some blanks.
For us, the journey to adoption, and particularly to sibling adoption, has been a long and twisty road. However, at every turn has been another beautiful vista. It’s all good.
Photo Credit: Dreena T