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The Basics of Bonding and Attachment. A Guide.

Learn how to reach out to your adopted child at any age.

Susan Kuligowski April 01, 2015

It’s the moment you’ve been dreaming of—the first time you meet your little one and start bonding with him. After months or even years of waiting, with no more legal barriers to face, you suddenly wonder how you’re going to feel seeing him for the first time. You suddenly wonder how your child is going to feel seeing you for the first time. Will you be overcome with the love that’s been building within you for so long? Or will you look at each other as strangers, bound now by a piece of paper and nothing else?

The truth is, parent/child relationships are complex whether they are biological or adoptive. Bonding and attachment are different between every parent and every child, and building and maintaining a healthy and strong relationship is a lifelong journey. Bonding takes time. Bonding takes courage. Bonding takes love. And while every situation, every child, and every parent differs, bonding is possible for all who put in the effort.

“You can’t hurry love. No, you just have to wait.

You got to trust, give it time. No matter how long it takes.”

—You Can’t Hurry Love (The Supremes)

Are you considering growing your family through domestic infant adoption? For a free and confidential consultation with an adoption professional, click here.

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Susan Kuligowski

Sue Kuligowski is a staff storyteller at Adoption.com. The mother of two girls through adoption, she is a proposal coordinator, freelance writer/editor, and a adoption advocate. When she's not writing or editing, she can be found supervising sometimes successful glow-in-the-dark experiments, chasing down snails in the backyard, and attempting to make sure her girls are eating more vegetables than candy.


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