After their birth/placement comes the awkward and emotional phases again–it really is like the first year of being married. Everything is so new, and you find out even more things about each other that you didn't know. You have good days and bad days. It takes a lot of work and quality time together to really build your relationship. You have to trust each other and love each other. Patience, forgiveness, and understanding are essential in that first year and for the rest of your life. You have to respect each other's boundaries and what the other person is comfortable with. You need to learn to accept each other for who you really are, flaws and all. Most importantly, you have to COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE. Honest communication is a must in an open adoption. If you need to change your communication plan (more or fewer visits, pictures, emails, etc), make sure you talk about it honestly with your adoptive couple/birth parents. If you are having trouble bonding with the baby with the birth parents visiting so often, tell them. If you are feeling like you need to see your baby you placed to help you when you are having a hard time, tell the adoptive couple. If you truly love each other, you will do what you can, within reason, to help each other through these new and hard days ahead. Also keep in mind that you both want to do the best for this child, and the best for the child may not be what is best for you. Being a parent/birth parent is hard. You have to make hard choices. You have good and bad days. But we do all the hard things for our kids because we love them more than anything.