You completed the research on different adoption agencies. You filled out an application. You have been fingerprinted, and the many required background checks are done. You met with a social worker several times for them to write your home study. If you are doing a domestic adoption, you create a Lifebook for expectant parents to read. If you are doing an international adoption, you complete more paperwork for your dossier.
But. . . now what? Just waiting to be matched. Just waiting by your phone for that call to come that will change your world.
Waiting will/can be extremely difficult, especially after you have been so busy completing the paperwork. The paperwork was in your control. But waiting is out of your control, and there is nothing you can do about it.
I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time knowing that I can’t do anything but wait–wait for that child that will make us a family and fill that void in our hearts.
If you are like me, the waiting period is full of unknowns. How long is the wait going to be? Should I start working on the room? Should I start buying baby/child items? Will a child even be placed with us?
I think the wait is different for everyone, as every adoption experience is different. You know yourself and what would be more rewarding/calming/beneficial for you. But I feel some things can help.
For me, it helped me to stay involved in the adoption process. I read adoption articles, blogs, and books. I joined an online adoption waiting group to be connected with other people going through the same thing as me.
But there are other things you can do that are outside the adoption process. Get involved with hands-on projects: knitting, sewing, painting, or DIY home repairs you have wanted to be done (that will not be so easy later with a small set of hands wanting to help)! Read a novel you have wanted to read. Spend one on one time with friends/spouse. Do something just for you (manicure, shop, etc.).
Keeping busy will help with the emotional aspect of the wait because it can become an obsession! You are dealing with the excitement, nervousness, the anxiousness that all comes with the waiting ordeal.
If you are currently waiting, I have been there and know what you are feeling. If you have any suggestions of how you got through the “wait” please share!
You will get through it and every moment of waiting will be rewarded tenfold.
Are you and your partner ready to start the adoption process? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to begin your adoption journey. We have 130+ years of adoption experience and would love to help you.
