Avoiding Adoption Scams Guide

An agency or lawyer that you have hired and trust to act as your liaison can help reduce the risk of scams. Never exchange money or personal information without first having representation. All money should go through a third party and be verified as a legal living cost expense. What qualifies as legal varies from state to state.

To help you find great adoption agencies, attorneys, and other service providers, you can also check out our reviews page.

An ultrasound and baby bump are not proof of pregnancy. These things can be forged. Have your lawyer/agency acquire authorization to obtain medical records and pregnancy-related information for proof of pregnancy and medical history.

If she suggests you use her lawyer or asks you to avoid agencies, it could be a sign that’s she’s not being honest. She may enlist the help of others to solidify her lies. They could be family, friends, or sometimes even fake adoption or medical professionals. Just because you found a profile for a person on Facebook does not mean they are a real person. Be aware.

You can run background checks on an individual. It is relatively easy and inexpensive. Check the standing of a lawyer or agency with the Better Business Bureau or other online reference resources. Checking for personal references is a great place to start.

Yahoo groups, Facebook, and even a Google search can reveal repeat scammers. They may have used the name—or pictures of sonograms or themselves—before. You can search using the name, phone number, IP address, or even drag-and-drop pictures they sent you. Checking these groups when you have that “feeling” is a good method of research.

Often if you are a member of a group like Parent Profiles, you can communicate directly with other hopeful adoptive parents. You can ask around to see if a story sounds familiar. Sometimes the woman posing as an expectant mother with an adoption plan has pitched her story to several families at once in the same community.

A red flag that can often be a common theme in adoption scams is that the expectant mom is always in some sort of crisis. Whether she is in need of money right now to keep her phone or water on, is going to lose her housing, or had a fight with her boyfriend or parent, there is always some crisis day to day or week to week. It can be emotionally and financially draining if you allow it to continue.

Know your limits. Know what is legally and ethically acceptable. You can deter her from coming to you for these things by offering suggestions for her to help herself. Often if it is a scam, she will tire of you referring her to the lawyer, counselor, social worker, or agency.

Ask for personal contact information. If you can’t meet directly with her, hire a lawyer in her area (to act on her behalf) who will have face-to-face interactions with her. Request a meeting with the agency or lawyer you hire to facilitate the process. Constant excuses and delaying or canceling meetings is another scam indicator.

If it seems too good to be true, it just might be. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t proceed at all. But advance with your eyes wide open; caution is advised. If her story is showing gaping holes or continues to change, trust your instincts.

As hopeful adoptive parents, it is our job to not let our emotions get the best of us. We need to keep our head on straight and remember that adoptions must be procured ethically and legally. No shortcuts. Adoption is an emotional roller coaster. Don’t let your immense desire to become parents mislead you into a scam.

If you find you are the victim of an adoption scam, here are the steps you should take:

- Stop all payments and cancel any outstanding checks.
- Contact the local authorities.
- Contact your lawyer.
- Notify the adoption board administrator where your profile is posted.