I say biological rather than birth parents in this article because until a woman signs legal papers relinquishing her parental rights, she is not a birth mother. She is simply a mother, regardless of any agreements she may have made beforehand. She has the right to spend as much or as little alone time with baby in the hospital as she would like. She makes medical decisions for baby as long as she is guardian. She can change her mind and decide to parent at any time before signing. The hospital experience is about her and the baby, not the hopeful adoptive parents.
Remember the difficult and tender feelings the biological mother feels. She has just gone through the physical trauma of labor and delivery, and is about to go through the emotional trauma of saying goodbye to her baby. I had two days in the hospital with baby R before I placed her into the arms of her adoptive parents. Those two days were the most beautiful, heartbreaking days of my life. I needed to have time to bond with my baby before she became her parents’ baby. I needed to care for her at night, dress her, sing to her, and cry. I needed time to say goodbye. Not every woman who places will have the same needs that I did, but she does have the same right to do what she needs to. I will be forever grateful for little R’s adoptive parents for respecting my wishes in the hospital. These same guidelines also apply for the biological father, if he is involved.