Talking About Transracial Adoption: A Guide

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Unfortunately, not everyone has gotten this memo.

Susan Kuligowski June 01, 2015


As adoptive parents, we sometimes find ourselves on the receiving end of horrible unwanted questions and unwarranted comments from strangers and even—gasp—family and friends who catch us off guard in the school parking lot or over a cup of coffee. Regardless of whether the horrible remarks are made accidentally or on purpose, they can be difficult to process. Here are some of the horrible things people say about transracial adoption and things they should have said instead.

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Susan Kuligowski

Sue Kuligowski is a staff storyteller at The mother of two girls through adoption, she is a proposal coordinator, freelance writer/editor, and a adoption advocate. When she's not writing or editing, she can be found supervising sometimes successful glow-in-the-dark experiments, chasing down snails in the backyard, and attempting to make sure her girls are eating more vegetables than candy.

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