I have never been a poet. Poetry is not something that comes naturally to me. After the placement of my birth son, however, I found solace in writing poetry. In my darkest hours of grief, poetry would begin to pour out of my heart. The words would come fast, as hot tears would roll down my cheeks. My poetry is not something that will win awards or even change lives. Yet it allowed me to pour out my heart in a way I never had. It allowed me to express my soul and emotions in a new way. I can honestly say that writing the poetry during that time helped heal my heart. Poetry might not be your answer. That is okay. Find what heals your heart.
My first mother’s day without my birth son was especially hard. I did not call my birth son’s mom often. However, that day, I needed to call her. I remember hearing him making babble noises in the background. She was so sweet and understanding. Even though she did not ask, she knew I was sad. After that conversation, I wrote a poem about my first mother’s day. Again, this is not award winning poetry. Nevertheless, this short poem helped me get through my first mother’s day.
We are two different women
living miles apart;
but the same little boy
stole both our hearts.
You were praying for a child
the chance to be called mother.
I was praying for an answer
if to give my child to another.
Now you are a mommy
on your first Mother’s Day.
Now I am a birth mom
and will celebrate in a different way.
We are both mommies
to our little boy.
Being two different mommies
brings us both great joy.
You will raise him in your home
with such great love and care.
I will raise him in my heart,
for he will forever reside there.
As we celebrate, our first Mother’s Day,
We can both thank motherhood
for helping us find our way.
