A letter from our birth grandmother

Dear Sandy,

How pleased I was to receive your letter. You just beat me to the punch. Of course, you may correspond with me. How much better it is for all concerned to have this in the open. We do want it known, however, that we will never cause you or your family any problems. I’m sure the thought must have entered your mind. If I were in your shoes, I’m not sure I could be as generous as you have been. You and your husband certainly are special people. Mary thinks a great deal of you both.

I truly am sorry we couldn’t see you when you were here. Mary did enjoy your visit so much. She was telling me this past weekend how she said goodbye at the airport. Mary said to Jamie, “Goodbye, little monkey.” He turned around and said to her, “Goodbye, monkey.” Mary’s face was all smiles as she was telling me her story.

You write that this open adoption has been good for you. On Mary’s behalf, I wish to echo those feelings. It’s made a world of difference in how she feels about the adoption now. Perhaps she told you– the reality didn’t hit her until two years later. When she finally did write the agency, Mary was merely concerned that Jamie was still with the mother and father she had chosen for him. You knew she had chosen you, didn’t you? I suppose in the back of her mind she wondered if the agency had really carried out her wishes. She read about adoptive parents “returning” adoptees to their respective adoption agencies. That thought bothered her a lot. Well the next time we discussed Jamie, it was after you had found her. I remember how excited she was by phone and by letter. In my own mind I thought, Thank heaven, now this girl will find peace of mind.

He is a beautiful child. We’ve enjoyed seeing his pictures. Yes, he does look like Mary. I can well imagine you looking at faces wherever you went– “Is it her? How about that one?” I hope you were so pleased when you finally did see Mary’s face. Mary is very special to us, and we are proud that she has pulled her life together. She was very young and naive when this all happened to her. I felt the best thing to do was to let her make the decision. Whatever it was, her Dad and I told her we would stand behind her. I know today she feels she made the right decision. She has seen with her own eyes the loving care and home the two of you have given Jamie. The tears she shed after seeing Jamie were tears of joy. As she said to me, “I knew when I saw Jamie and his wonderful Mother and Dad, I had done the right thing.” It was always her hope that this child is raised with both a mother and a father. She wanted for him what she had had in her own life.

We thank you for allowing us to share in his life. The open adoption is the best gift you could have ever given her.