The phone call came and I wasn’t quite sure Two people wed to others, but in love Mother, with auburn hair and hazel eyes Father, slight of build and very thin, you The sum of all my parts, is who I am, I wish I could have known you or remembered She wrote it down, and today the letter came, It was comforting to know I was with you for a while, © Ruth Malins
I wanted to know what she had to say,
to finally hear the words I’d dreamed about,
the answers to suspicions that have haunted me,
and to hear at last some clues to who I am,
yet when she asked me if I was ready
I had no choice but to tell her to begin.
with each other, yet not free to wed,
created a child from their love, giving me life,
but kept me a secret from their families
because it wouldn’t be proper or right,
loving me so much that they knew they must
do what was best for me, not for themselves,
and so, they gave me a chance for a better life.
now I know where mine came from – they’re yours,
a long neck, prominent nose, intelligence,
all traits that I inherited from you;
your protruding ears went to my daughter
she too has your long neck and auburn hair,
and both of my daughters see through your hazel eyes.
passed this down to me and to my children;
I have your love of sports and your interests
in drawing, architecture, and gardening,
an active person I’m told you were, just like me,
yet shy and sensitive, I’m like that, too.
I think my children would’ve liked you.
some passed down from you through heredity,
others learned from the parents who chose me
to be their own; they nurtured those interests
I got from you and they made them mine;
showed me how to use those passed-down talents
and taught me the way families share their love.
how much you loved each other and loved me,
there have been times during my life I’ve felt
something was missing — I guess that something was you.
I wonder how often you’ve thought of me,
about where I was, or what I had become,
and if I was wondering about you, too.
now I can feel a part of you whenever I wish,
I can read it over and over until
I know all the words by heart
And yet it won’t change what happened.
You had to make the hardest choice of all.
I think it must have torn up your heart.
and I wish I could’ve met you both sometime.
I think you’d be proud of me, and happy to know
you did the right thing for me, and for my life.
So I’m glad I took the chance to seek you out,
That knowledge made you real to me somehow,
and helped me better understand who I am.
The phone call came and I wasn’t quite sure
Two people wed to others, but in love
Mother, with auburn hair and hazel eyes
Father, slight of build and very thin, you
The sum of all my parts, is who I am,
I wish I could have known you or remembered
She wrote it down, and today the letter came,
It was comforting to know I was with you for a while,
© Ruth Malins