“Hi, I’m Ryan, and I’ve never met my biological mother. I’m adopted. So every year around Mother’s Day I get the same sort of tricky conundrum going on in my mind.”
So begins a video created by Australian radio DJ Ryan Jon, who decided that this Mother’s Day, he would do something about that conundrum.
As an introduction to the video, Ryan shares a little of his back story. He was placed for adoption as an infant nearly thirty years ago. His birth mother, Julie, left him a letter explaining her reasons for choosing adoption for him. “It seems that when she got pregnant–unexpectedly–she didn’t believe that she had the time and maturity to be a great mum,” he says. “And she sort of implied that she didn’t have the best upbringing and she wanted to make sure that her child had every opportunity available, so she thought the best thing to do would be to give me up for adoption.”
Then he goes on to talk about his feelings about adoption.
He says he often sees birth mothers portrayed as making a cowardly choice and being plagued by guilt afterwards, that adopted children learn that they’re adopted and are upset. But, he says, “From my point of view, it’s the total opposite. You’ve given someone the gift of life. You’ve sacrificed your body, your life, to someone who–in twelve months–you won’t even know them.”
And, he also points out that his parents had been told they would never be able to be parents, but thanks to her decision to place him for adoption, they had that opportunity. “Now they’re my mum and dad,” he told news.com.au. “They’re awesome, they’ve given me a great life, and I’ll love them forever.”
In the video, he states that he realizes his birth mother had other choices and he is so grateful that she chose to give him life. He continues, “I’d love to be able to look my birth mom in the eye and say how thankful I am . . . for literally everything.”
But he’s hesitant to find his mother and knock on her door. He explains, “I’m scared that I’m looking for someone who might not necessarily want to be found.” If she’s moved forward and married and had other children, he doesn’t want to interfere with her new life.
“I don’t want to create any awkward conversations or situations for her. She gave me my life,” he says, struggling to control his emotions, “and I feel like the least I can do is let her live hers.”
The bottom-line of his message was this: “So if this video gets shared around a lot and my birth mother views it, I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t need you to do anything or contact me. I just want to say thank you for everything and I hope you have a great mother’s day.”