There are different seasons in our relationships and our lives

Dreena Melea Tischler April 15, 2014
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1402743_fall_backgroundTechnically, it’s fall here.  Not much has “fallen” yet; seasons are subtle here in Texas.  Yet, I can see the leaves gathering a bit at the edge of the driveway, the sidewalks are littered with acorns, and the squirrels seem busy, busy, busy.

Relationships have seasons too.  My friend Margaret taught me that. Like the weather, they are ongoing with a life of their own and they have seasons.

When the Littles were foster kids, we had “The Honeymoon Season.”  They were all so sweet and adorable. “The Honeymoon” was followed inevitably by “The Testing Season” and, well, lather, rinse, repeat!  The Captain had a rough summer season; we seemed to be butting heads at every turn.  Of the three, he is the most inflexible, probably because he is the most hurt by his early life.  I tried to put schedule and routine into our summer- knowing those rhythms are the most comforting to him- but it was very challenging with Sunshine’s ball schedule and not one, but three, family trips.   There was more than one occasion in which I literally did not know what to do, or how to respond to help us all move forward.  This uncertainty in parenting is new for me- and mighty uncomfortable.

Now in the season of autumn, I have seen a shift in my relationship with him. Things are settling, smoothing out.  I am learning more all the time about what makes him tick, and Dear Hubby has gained insight too.  There’s a sense of change and completion.  There is a bit of crispness in the air that makes me optimistic and hopeful for our future.

Which is not to say things are suddenly simple around here.  The Blitz is a three-year old and, at times, a real handful.  But I keep reminding myself, “It’s a season in a relationship” and it will get better.  After all, how many 10 year olds throw themselves on the floor and wail?  This too shall pass.

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Dreena Melea Tischler

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