While many people are rocking single parenthood, that is not what I wanted for my child. My mom was a single mom for many years and was incredible, but It sure was difficult on us as kids. She worked a lot and was usually tired. While we did a lot of fun things, we did not get to spend a whole lot of time with her. Dads are important. I wanted a dad for Josie. She deserved to have a dad to play with, learn from, and look up to.
While I could have financially “gotten by,” I wanted more for my baby. Stability in many aspects was very important to me. I wanted her to have a routine and to know where she was going to be sleeping six months from now. I wanted her to have a good support system. All these things would not have been possible for her. I would have had to work 40 hours a week, and she would have been in day care for a great majority of that. While that works for many people, that is not what I wanted for her. I wanted her to have time with parents, not see them on occasion when they weren’t working. She would have also been shuffled from house to house between herself and her birth father. I knew there would be times he wouldn’t show up, would put her in dangerous situations, or not give her the proper care. That was just not what I felt acceptable for a child.
In the end, it came to love. I loved that sweet baby more than anything in the world. I knew I could make it as a single mom, but she just deserved more. My love for her outweighed my want to raise her. She didn’t get to make the choice to come into the messy situation that was my life. I made that for her, so I made the choice to give her the best of everything possible. I chose a stable home with a mom and dad, two brothers, and lots of opportunity. My love for her was able to defy nature and give her the best life possible, even if that meant a world of hurt for me. Now we have an incredible relationship full of love. She is now loved by so many people. She knows who I am, She knows I love her, and she knows that I always will love her. For that reason alone, I am glad I made the choice to place her for adoption.
If you are trying to choose what is best for you baby, my prayers and thoughts are with you. It is not an easy choice. Just remember to be honest with yourself on what is best. What is best for your baby’s future. Write a pros and cons list. As long as you are brutally honest with yourself, even if it hurts, you will be just fine.