Step into Dr. Seuss’ beloved tale “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” with me as we set off on an adventure full of possibilities and surprises from an adoption perspective. But I want to talk about the hardest part for us.
Your adoption journey begins with a desire and willingness to take steps into a new world. Adoption caseworkers praise you for making the choices you’ve made and help you wind your way through the paths ahead, teaching you new terms and tricks needed to succeed. The hope of future possibilities lifts you higher and higher, soaring on wings of faith toward an unfamiliar place—only to be interrupted mid-flight when an agency closes, policies change, or any number of roadblocks appear. As Dr. Seuss puts it:
“I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
can happen to you!”
Not only can you be “left in the lurch,” but you may even end up in a “slump,” or in a place “where the streets are not marked.” The world of adoption can often feel like walking on unmarked streets. When you are making decisions about home studies, agencies, lawyers, or consultants, it is hard to know who to trust and which paths to take.
“You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to the race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
THE WAITING PLACE…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.”
For adoptive couples, The Waiting Place can be the hardest place of all. What you can’t see is what is happening while you wait. Just as a train, or plane, or letter takes time to connect from one point to the other, The Waiting Place in an adoption story is where the connecting points of A to B are made. An adoptive couple has to be ready and able to parent while a mother has to be ready and able to place. Once these two separate entities are firmly in place, a connection can be made. I believe God and His angels (of heaven and earth) form these connections, often working miracles to place these separate entities in the right places at the right times with the right people.
Be patient, and allow this line to be drawn from you to your child’s birth family. We tend to struggle with our inability to see what is ahead for us, questioning what moves we should make, and wanting to change our positions because it feels like nothing is happening. We often feel stuck in this Waiting Place. Feeling stuck can leave us feeling unfulfilled, frustrated, or even bitter. The longer you are in The Waiting Place, the more likely the sting of infertility will turn into a gaping, oozing wound if not appropriately cared for.
Even though you can’t see them, pieces of your adoption story are coming together. Follow the steps you have been led to take, and then wait and see what God will do for you. And while you are in The Waiting Place, “escape all that waiting and staying” and “find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.” Choose to:
- Find joy in the journey.
- Live in gratitude.
- Spend time building quality loving relationship with yourself, your spouse, and your friends.
- Learn about adoptions and get involved in adoption communities.
- Serve and love those around you.
- Create something beautiful.
- Pray in faith to be guided each day.
- Heal your wounds.
- Embrace your light and purpose.
- Trust in God’s plan for you and your family.
- Be present in living your best life TODAY!