One of the most difficult parts of the adoption journey is waiting to be matched with your child. There are many ups and downs as well as anxiety and excitement. Any adoptive parent who has experienced the wait can tell you that it can be quite the roller coaster! However, no two waits look the same and each couple handles the wait differently. I had the chance to interview a wonderful adoptive mom, Laura, who has gone through the wait once before and is currently in the thick of her second wait. Laura provides great insight on what the wait can be like in an agency adoption.
What is/was the hardest part about waiting to be matched?
“In the beginning, it was easy. We were able to throw off the stress of paperwork and begin to look towards preparing for the baby’s arrival. As the waiting grew longer, it was more difficult and we had to decide if we were going to wait or move ahead with life decisions (like buying a car, planning a vacation).“
How did it feel to know all the necessary paperwork was done and you were finally in that “waiting” period?
“Wonderful! We were thrilled to be done with the mountains of paperwork and we can relax now that the process is out of our hands. We finally had an end product. “
What is the best thing about the wait?
“We knew we were done with paperwork. It took us months to complete and I wanted to have a party when we submitted our signature to approve the home study. We could actually watch TV without having another conversation about the adoption profile, etc. “
Do you have any interesting stories that have happened during the wait?
“We had planned a vacation to Maui and then became matched a month before the trip. The birth mother decided to parent after giving birth, so we were glad we hadn’t cancelled the vacation and enjoyed some time to relax and get away. We also were matched a second time, where the birth mother decided to parent – that was more difficult as we had thought this was it. We had a difficult time thinking about adoption for a few months afterwards to allow ourselves to take a break. “
With your first adoption, how long before you were matched with your child from when you began to wait?
“We waited 22 months before our first child was placed with us.”
How did you find out you were finally matched?
“We went through an agency and only had twelve hour’s notice. It was a whirlwind; however, because we had two potential adoptions fall through, we had everything we needed for the baby – so we took time to clean the house. After two long matches that fell through, it was amazing to be placed so fast.”
What avenues are you using to advertise that you are adopting?
“We shared a link on Facebook and are using word of mouth.”
Has anyone reacted negatively or strangely to your adoption plans?
“No – thank goodness.”
What advice would you give to hopeful adoptive parents who are waiting?
“Spend time together and do things that would not be fun with a baby/toddler around. It is important to invest in your relationship during the waiting period as parenthood holds a lot of stresses.“
Anything else you might like to add about the process of waiting?
“Hang in there! It will happen – it sounds so trite; however, it is very true. “
Laura and her husband Nick are parents to an adorable two-year-old boy, Sam, and are hoping to grow their family again through adoption. They are currently in the wait and their positivity is quite inspiring. They are profiled through their agency. Let their story give you hope in your own waiting journey!