When the question is asked of adoptive parents, “Who is your child’s real parent?” the reaction can be strong. Usually the question is asked out of ignorance. The response can be both enlightening and educational for the person who asked the question.

“Real” is an ambiguous word. A proper response by an adoptive parent may be, “I’m her mom, but she also has a birth mother.” There are other appropriate responses that could be explored. Helping your child understand that love is real, whether it’s from the birth family or adoptive family, will be a great foundation for the adoptee to answer that question when it comes directly to him or her.