6 Ways to Push Through the Fear of a Failed Adoption Match

Put your best foot forward and allow yourself to feel joy while not letting yourself to claim ownership of a child. That will give you the grace to embrace your relationship with the expectant mother while not coercing her into placement if she is considering parenting.

In other words, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

Will having a match placement fall through eliminate your chances to adopt again because of the financial burden? If so, be sure to only work with agencies or adoption professionals that have a fees schedule set up to where your monetary loss is limited or nothing at all if a match fails. Some agencies require a large sum up front and all is lost when a match falls through, while others require very little money before placement happens.

Did someone mention chickens? Have a backup plan for if a match falls through. Have a discussion with your partner about how you will handle it if you have a match that fails. Will you continue pursing adoption? Will you take a short break to mourn the loss then move forward? Consider what your ultimate goal is and prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.

Roll with the punches. In life, rarely does something go as planned. This is true for adoption too. Take your expectations and throw them out the window. You may be prepared for a five-year wait and get matched in 5 days. You may have no failed matches or have several fall through. But if you go into it with the expectations that you don’t know what to expect, you will feel much better about the curve balls that might come your way.

The journey to parenthood can be a roller coaster. There may be days you want off and other days you are screaming with joy. Try to enjoy the ride. The lessons you learn and the new friendships you form along the way will make the hard parts so worth it . . . especially when you have a child in your home as a result.