My 6 Greatest Adoption Fears

This one literally makes me laugh out loud now. Grant's birth parents are family to us now and we love them unconditionally. And I love that they love my son too.

I never planned on getting pregnant. My chances were pretty low of being able to conceive and even lower that I would be able to carry a baby to term. But it did happen. I had prayed to God before getting pregnant that if there was any way I could love a child more than my two I had adopted, than please never let me get pregnant. Since I did get pregnant, I knew before I even delivered that the love would be the same. It was totally the same, and is to this day. I love them all for who they are, not for how they came.

This seems to also be a common misperception among those who did not know much about open adoption when we were going through the process. In the state we adopted through, this was not a possibility, but we knew our kids' birth parents would never do this anyway. We have healthy boundaries in place and respect each other's space. We enjoy having an open relationship built on love and trust.

I knew our families would love our kids. I hoped they would love them the same as their biological grandchildren, and they do. It's the same for them as it is for us; there is no difference. But I wondered how they would feel about us having an open adoption. At first, it was a little awkward to even talk about it. To this day, my 85 year old grandmother still doesn't understand it, and always warns us that it may be dangerous to keep in contact with our kids' birth families. But other than her, our families have learned about adoption over the years just as we have. They see the benefits of an open adoption in our situation, and support us 100%.

This was something that I feared up until the day the papers were signed. Grant's birth mother Krista would reassure us that she would not change her mind. And we reassured her that either way, we would love her and understand. And we meant that with our whole hearts. We would have been devastated if things had fallen through, but we could never not feel love towards her. We understand that it is a huge decision and a very difficult one. We never had to go through the heart break of a failed placement, but many couples know this pain all too well. It's a real fear, and can be hard to shake when you're trying to be positive and hopeful. If this is a situation you are in, my heart goes out to you. Keep the faith, move forward and I hope your heart recovers soon and you feel comfort at this terribly difficult time.