First a Foster Child, Then a Foster Parent: Man’s Life Comes Full Circle

Richard and Brittany were smitten when these three beautiful children entered their lives. "I thought they were the most beautiful children I had ever seen," said Richard. But his heart hurt for them too. From his childhood experience, he knew that this was just the beginning of their foster care lives. Brittany saw it differently. She was immediately drawn in to the children and felt a quick bond. "I was sure they would be going home to their biological mom, but that first night they came home with us I told Richard that I wanted to adopt them." Together, Richard and Brittany showered the kids with love and at the very least, they hoped to give them two things: To know what love is, and to know God. "Come what may, these kids could have a future and a hope."

From Richard: "I would often ask God why he put me in foster care. I would ask Him why I couldn't have a 'normal' life like some of the other kids I knew- a life with what we foster kids refer to as our real mom and dad. Throughout my life God has answered that question time and time again. My prayer now is that he will bless me with the wisdom, courage, strength, and words to show world the providence of Him, and His will in my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He put me in this situation so that one day, I could indeed inspire, encourage, and minister to others."

Not long after Richard and Brittany were blessed with their three foster children, Brittany got pregnant. This pregnancy resulted in the birth of little Annabelle. "Annabelle has known Gabbi, Kentrell, and Elijah her whole life. The fact that they came to us through foster care and adoption mean nothing to her. They are just brother and sister to her, and they take care of her as well. Kentrell, our middle child, loves Annabelle and always goes out of his way to take care of his baby sister. It’s really a beautiful thing to watch. And Annabelle loves her big brothers and sister. She squeals in delight when they come in from school in the afternoons."

But what of the difference in skin color? Transracial adoption can be difficult for some. And racism is a definite concern of the Odens. Although skin color makes no difference to their family, outsiders can say and do hurtful things. From Richard’s perspective, he knew how hard it was growing up in foster care. He heard and felt hurtful things from children and adults. And so these good parents will be extra vigilant as they raise their transracial family.

"We had a conversation with their biological mom about this very topic. I asked her if she or her friends or family had a problem with us being white and her children living with us being black. She did admit that she got some flak from some of her friends. We went on to tell her that as long as they were under our house, we would raise them to see as God sees: "God is colorblind, red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.” Besides talking with them, all we can do is train them in the scriptures, hope for the best and pray, just like any other biological parents should with their children.

Brittany and Richard will continue to love and to teach their children. But the story won’t end there. They continue to offer love to foster children when they’re called to do so. And "Brittany and I have a dream to purchase land and build a home on it that is big enough to take in 5 siblings at once. I came from a big biological family and they had to split us up because they could not find a home that would take four kids at once." The Odens want to make a difference - one child at a time, and even one sibling group at a time.

With an intense desire to help as many children as possible, Richard has written a book about his life experiences. Growing up as a foster child, being part of the military, having a wife who chooses to do hard things, and raising a beautiful blended family, Richard’s experiences are many. "Foster/adoption families and my military experience have many parallels. It takes very special people to be foster parents and the same can be said for our military men and women. For our foster care, we know we can get our hearts broken, get attached to our children we foster and watch them leave. We also know what could happen while serving in the military - however, we still go. We still put children and our country first!

When I tell people that I was a foster child, they always have so many questions: Do you still know your real parents, your real siblings; why did you come in to foster care; what was foster care like, etc. I really felt like I would be doing a disservice to God if I didn't share with people what he has done for me in my life. My book 'My Full Life Circle, Squared' comes out Veterans Day, November 11, 2016 which also happens to be National Adoption Month. The title of my book comes from the fact that I was a foster child who became a foster parent (my first circle). Then I got adopted out of foster care, and adopted three children out of foster care (my second circle) in 'My Full Life Circle, Squared.' I will be donating a portion of all proceeds to foster care/adoption and military charities."