Six Things I Want You to Know About Your Birth Mother

Six things I hope to teach my children

Megan Hilton July 13, 2014

To my children: There are many things I hope to teach you. Among them is your great worth. In order for you to know your worth, you have to know your birth mother. Your birth mother brought you into this world. Your birth mother gives her heritage, her culture, and her family roots to you. She will always loves you. There are many people in your life who care for you, and for whom I hope you will develop a deep respect–your birth mother being chief among them. Here are six things I hope to teach you about your birth mother.


She Gave You Life
1. She Gave You Life

Some people will have judgmental things to say about women who face an unplanned pregnancy and bear a child, but my response will always be that those women choose to give life when they have another choice. You are the vibrant, beautiful and unique soul to whom your birth mother chose to give life. I hope you value your own life and recognize your worth.

She Placed You in Love
2. She Placed You in Love

I don't want to speak for her. Her reasons for making an adoption plan are her own, but I do know that she wanted you to be safe, loved, and cared for. I feel that responsibility every morning when I see your sweet face and think of her.

She Made a Selfless and Courageous Choice
3. She Made a Selfless and Courageous Choice

She is really, really brave. It was likely the hardest thing, or at least one of the hardest things, she had ever done or will ever do. I think your birth mother is heroic.

We chose open adoption for several reasons.
4. We chose open adoption for several reasons.

Mostly, it was so you would never be ashamed of who you are and where you came from. We value your heritage and everything that makes you you. I hope you will always be mindful of your birth mother, even if there are periods of time when you don't have frequent contact.

She has a family, who are members of your birth family.
5. She has a family, who are members of your birth family.

We are grateful for them, too. We are happy to make connections with supportive and loving birth family members. They prove you have more people to love you and care about you because you are a child who also happens to be an adoptee.

I love her unconditionally
6. I love her unconditionally

I hope she knows this--like really, truly knows this. I pray for her. I think of her every day. The fact that I feel this way also means I hope she feels like she can be open and honest with me. I never want to hurt her and I pray she knows my intentions are pure. I love sharing photos and stories of our daily life with her. In return, I enjoy hearing about what is going on in her life. It is never a burden. On the contrary; it expands my joy to share it with another woman who cares deeply for you.

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Megan Hilton

Megan Hilton is an adoptive and foster mom of four beautiful children. Her oldest three children were adopted as infants through domestic adoption and her youngest joined the family through foster care. She lives with her family in Arizona.

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