4 Reasons A Child’s Adoption Story Should Never Be A Secret

Be fair and share, there are many reasons for adoption and they are all good for the child.

Meghan Rivard November 16, 2016

A child’s adoption story should include a link to his/her biological background and heritage. That knowledge is important because it will be a factor in who they are today and who they will be in the future. It is human nature for people to want to know their genealogy and your adopted child is no different. Be fair and share, there are many reasons for adoption and they are all good for the child. I believe everyone should know their adoption story from their birth to their placement with you. It should always be an open dialogue, so that at any age your adopted child will not be uncomfortable discussing her/his feelings.

It is THEIR story to share, so they should know all the details possible.
1. It is THEIR story to share, so they should know all the details possible.

My husband and I adopted our daughter and someone has asked me how we were going to explain to her adoption (she is three years old). I responded with that we already have started. We read her adoption books, we talk to her about what adoption is in simplistic terms, and we have an open relationship/adoption with her birth family. I feel having an open adoption is a huge privilege as her birth family will be able to answer her questions that I would not be able to provide for her.

People have also asked why we would want an open adoption. I politely reply that it is a personal decision and when she is older, Anna will decide, with us, what her relationship is with her birth family.

It shapes who your child is today and will be in the future.
2. It shapes who your child is today and will be in the future.

As I stated earlier, your child's story is a huge factor in forming his/her identity as he/she matures from baby to teenager to adult. It is natural for adopted children to have questions about their background, where they came from, their ethnicity and culture. It is important information to provide your adopted child and best given by the birth parents. I have read stories that are very heartbreaking concerning adults who were adopted as babies and have no idea about their history and always wonder. I don’t believe that should happen in adoption if avoidable.

An adoptee needs medical information too.
3. An adoptee needs medical information too.

History includes medical information from the person’s biological parents. This is very important, as genetic traits or medical background information can be crucial and possibly life saving for a person.

It is a great tool for adoption education.
4. It is a great tool for adoption education.

During your child’s school age years, you will find teachers that are comfortable and some that are not as comfortable with how to address adoption related issues. I feel the classroom is a great avenue for you and your child to use to inform/educate the classroom about adoption. If your child is comfortable, have them share his/her adoption story with the class. Talk about how your child has different sets of parents and how that's different than other families, but just as special. Knowledge is always critical in ridding the public of prejudices.

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Meghan Rivard

Meghan is an adoptive mother and a big advocate of adoption and foster care. She resides in Indiana with her husband, their one-year-old daughter who is the center of their lives, and their dog Max. She has a Bachelor's and Master’s Degree in Social Work. Meghan stays at home with her daughter but is so happy she found this outlet to share her personal adoption story and educate about adoption!


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