We know all the facts about why open adoption can be best for a child. Our agencies drill them into us from the time we start the home study process. In reality though, open adoption is both beautiful and difficult. Here are 10 moments of birth and adoptive parents celebrating the sweetness in their open adoption relationships.
10 Moments That Make Open Adoption Worth It
Parents share the moments that capture the sweetness of their own adoption relationships.
“After years of not hearing back, sending a message that my son wanted to see his birth mom and having her respond right away and making the visit happen within a month. No matter how hard it is with no contact between, knowing she will be there when HE needs her is priceless.” - Beth
“My full relationship with my birth grand daughter is worth every moment of pain, grief, and agony over worrying I would not have this beautiful whole relationship with S. She is 4 in November and I am her Nona. I adore her adoptive Daddies. Our close relationship with our granddaughter and her fathers is a blessing, a gift, and worth every growing pain we experienced to get to where we are. “
“My birth son and his (adoptive) father flew into town for a funeral, and ended up without a rental car. Since our adoption is so open, his (adoptive) mom called me and I offered to go pick them up and drive them to pick up a rental car (an hour each direction). We ended up getting lunch with my mom and kids, and had a great time! It was a fun bonus visit, and I am so grateful that we have enough trust in our relationship for something like that to feel so "normal". Another was when my birth son explained to my daughter, who is two years younger than he, how they are kind of like siblings and that he grew in my tummy, but I had to find his parents for him. It was one of the sweetest moments ever. He was so comfortable with his story, and I could tell his parents had treated our whole story as sacred.”
"My son’s birth dad, after hearing some of our son’s less desirable behaviors jokingly (and with a smirk) said to me, 'My mom always said I would have one just like me. And you got him.' To be able to laugh with someone else who loves our child, and understands him and all his faults, felt great."
Maya Brown-Zimmerman is a mother of three, both biologically and through adoption. She has been blogging since before it was cool, and is passionate about everything from open and ethical adoption to special needs advocacy and patient-physician communication. In her spare time (ha!) she's on the board of directors for a medical nonprofit and enjoys medical and crime dramas. You can read more from her on her blog, Musings of a Marfan Mom.
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