As I sat in a crowded movie theater with a friend last night waiting for a highly anticipated movie to begin. I watched a series of movie previews. My husband and I are those rare people who actually like watching the previews of movies so we can get a feel if it will be a movie we might want to see in the next few months.
There was one movie trailer in particular that I saw a couple of months ago and again last night that just wouldn’t leave my mind and made me really think. The quote in the movie was “sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.” I thought about how profound and true that statement was and how it could be applied to my life.
Everything we do is a choice. We make choices on a daily basis. Some are small and take no thought whereas others are large and greatly impact our life. A wise man, AKA my dad, told me one time that we can make our choices, but we cannot choose the consequences–good or bad. We have to learn to live with those consequences. I learned a great deal about choices and consequences when I became pregnant in 2008 and decided the best choice for my baby would be adoption.
I made the choice to have sex before marriage. However, I did not think my consequence would ever be an unplanned pregnancy. So many teens and young adults feel that they are invincible–I know I did. Getting pregnant at 21 was my big wake-up call. I knew then that my life was no longer just about me.
I had three choices I could make after learning I was pregnant. I am very pro-life, so terminating the pregnancy was out of the question for me. I could choose to parent and raise the baby, or I could choose adoption. I was very fortunate to have my parents support on whichever decision I thought was best for my baby and me. Adoption was right for me. If I could go back in time I would do it a thousand times over because that one choice led me to where I am today. I already knew the blessings that came from adoption in my own life because I was adopted by my family when I was 6 months old. I have and continue to learn many things from choosing adoption for my baby girl. The choice I made to place my daughter for adoption five years ago shaped me into who I am now. I would not be who I am today as a woman, wife, and mother if I had chosen a different path.
Our children are growing up in a society where people and Hollywood call evil good, and good evil. Their tomorrow’s happiness and blessings depend on the choices they will make today. We need to teach our children right from wrong. To teach them to take responsibility for their actions–not to put blame on their family, friends, or circumstances in life for the choices they made. They need to know in their hearts that each and every one of them is a child of God. Each one of us has freedom to choose, but with that freedom to choose comes consequences.
I think it’s hardest for parents to allow children to deal with the consequences of their actions. We want to protect them, but if they grow up believing their choices have no consequences or those consequences don’t apply to them we have cheated them from an important learning experience. And later, when the choices are more life-changing, not understanding consequences or responsibilities can ruin their lives. My parents supported me and continued to love me, but they let me deal with the consequences of my actions.
Life is full of choices. Choosing adoption was the biggest, hardest, most amazing choice I have ever made in my life. The blessings from that choice are still being felt everyday!