Today was a big day for me . . . I’ve signed papers for the adoption order. If someone would have asked me where I thought I’d be a year ago, I’d be shocked to know that I’d be all right with placing such a beautiful little child!

Danielle was born on Sunday at 12:39 AM, and I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face after her birth. I’m a 26-year-old mother of three awesome little boys and was shocked to know that I was able to make a girl!! The adoptive parents I selected from Parent Profiles were in the delivery room with me, and it seemed that there were angels surrounding us all and guiding us through such a difficult, but joyous, process. The nurse’s name was Faith, and the doctor was extremely warm, calm, and attentive.

I still have issues with the birth father. He halted all contact with me halfway through the pregnancy, and I feel very hurt that someone could walk away from their own blood with no curiosity or sense of responsibility. I know that he cares, but this process is so huge and overwhelming at times that I wish I could share this with him. But it’s for the better, given our history.

I recently got back together with the father of my boys, and he is one of the most amazing men I’ve ever known. He’s not perfect, but he loves me to death, and I’m so grateful for his support through this all.

I’m so looking forward to hearing from other birth mothers, especially someone with a sort of similar story.

It hurt so much to say goodbye to Danielle because she is so perfect, and sometimes I feel guilty that it doesn’t hurt so much now that I am unable to see her, and I feel that I should. The most important thing I keep telling myself is that she is surrounded by love from me and my extended family and that I’m always going to be as close as she and the adoptive parents are comfortable with since our agreement is semi-open.

She’s in good hands.