A Mother at the Age of 21
She just found out her boyfriend of nine months was seeing someone else. Not only that, but the “someone else” was also pregnant. So, she packed up her things and moved into an efficiency apartment. She needed to prepare to become a mother.
The complications she was having with her pregnancy only made her feel more scared and alone. Friends and family lended their support…just not the kind she really needed.
The Adoption Option
Adoption was an option she was introduced to, but she was unsure. Six months into the pregnancy, however, she decided she had to do something. She called a place in Texas and talked to a wonderful lady.
Then, she made the decision.
She packed up her things again and moved to Texas, with the help of her parents. While there were many other girls at this place in Texas who were just like her, her fears and heartaches overwhelmed her again. Christmas and her birthday came and went without her friends and family near by.
Welcoming a Baby Boy
On January 6th, a 7 lb. 2 oz. baby boy arrived! She held him so tight, and once he was moved to the nursery she visited him often. The nurses wouldn’t let her feed him, but she still got to hold him and watch him sleep. She called him Anthony Brent. She was his mother.
The parents she picked for him were a young couple. They had already adopted before, and they were religious. She felt confident they would be the right couple. Their pictures were wonderful and their profile was amazing—just what she wanted for her firstborn.
Her grandmother and aunt visited Anthony Brent. They agreed he was most precious. Letting go of Anthony was the ultimate sacrifice—all for the love of her child.
Her mother came January 13th for “that day.” She sat in the judge’s chambers, her hand in her mother’s. After agreeing with everything the judge said, she signed the necessary papers. They boarded a plane later that afternoon. She cried the whole way home.
Her decision haunted her for many months. After months of help and support to overcome thoughts of death, she finally understood. Her decision wasn’t the wrong one because it was made out of selfless love.
She can still remember that day like it was yesterday, but she remains confident she did the right thing. Anthony Brent will be nine soon, but she hasn’t heard anything about him or seen a picture of him since he turned one. Even though she writes that place in Texas once a year in hopes there will be something more they can share, they’ve yet to send anything else.
Nevertheless, she feels he is getting the life he deserves, which was a life she didn’t feel she could give him. He must be happy…he must be. No news is usually good news right?
A Mother at the Age of 27
This time not only abandoned…but violated.
She trusted someone she thought she knew. That man lied and betrayed her. Then one day he left while she was at work; he took her money and ran. They searched for him with an old credit card receipt only to find that man was deceased. Stolen identity!
She panicked and feared all the worst. She contemplated abortion, but it just didn’t feel right for her.
Committing to a Decision
She was about five months pregnant, at home for Christmas, and surrounded by love. She already had one little boy from her previous marriage and was barely making it alone! She saw her sisters with their husbands and kids all around.
Look at how happy they are, she thought. Secure with love. How can I do this?
She knew she couldn’t. The baby moved within her and she just knew.
She made her decision.
Fighting to Stay Committed
Many of her friends and family were dismayed, and not all were happy. But she knew in her heart she had to place her baby for adoption. There had been no money since the business she worked for went under. She couldn’t raise another child.
The ones that judged her were the ones she needed most, but they didn’t understand her decision. They were happily married and secure. She didn’t feel she had enough to offer her baby what she want to as a mother.
Sure, she had love and faith, but those two alone couldn’t financially support her family. As she drove home, she cried and racked her brain for ways to change her decision. Then she looked in the rearview mirror and saw her four-year-old.
She had to do it, not only for the life inside of her, but for the child with her.
Someday he will understand, she told herself.
Even as she called a place in New Jersey, she was still trying to think of ways out of her decision. They invited her to come see them at their office, so she drove four hours in hopes of advice and comfort.
That was just what they offered her. They didn’t pressure her; they just showed her options. She was so happy she had people who understood.
In November, she moved to be closer to the adoption place in New Jersey. She visited often to review profiles of hopeful adoptive parents. One couple in particular jumped out at her. They were from Boston. A very happy couple just wanting to fill their hearts with the child they couldn’t have.
This was the couple!
Welcoming a Baby Girl
April 29th, a beautiful, 6 lb. 2 oz. baby girl was born. Allee. She held her close and told her she loved her. She was her mother.
May 5th was the day. A day to remember. She wasn’t planning to meet the parents, but decided last minute she had to.
Tears started to flow as soon as they walked into the room. Not only from her, but also from all who were in that room. The threesome sat and talked for what seemed like forever. She walked out the door holding her baby daughter.
Kissing her Allee on the forehead, she explained she was doing this for her and that she loved her.
The day Allee would get to go home with her adoptive family, she walked into that room with Allee held close.
She said to the mother, “Here is your daughter.”
They told her they loved the name Allee, but had already chosen the name Lily. She knew that was the perfect name for their daughter, and continues to get updates on her precious Lily.
Coping with Judgment
Some people have judged her for the decision she made. Usually she just ignores them. She did the best for her babies, and she will never regret it for one second. The ones who judge her may never understand until they have lived it. No one can judge another for doing a deed of pure, selfless love.
Today, she wonders about the people reading her story. Do they understand? Do they judge her? Do they view her as a bad because she ended up placing not only one child, but two children for adoption?
Then she thinks, what if one of the people reading this couldn’t have children? Or what if someone reading this wanted to help a child in need of an adoptive family? What would the reader do then? Would the reader consider adoption? Probably so. And where would that adopted child come from?
Someone like her—a birth mother.