Am Cynthia 24 of Age willingly to be adopted by Family outside Nigeria here's my email address : cynthiaokonkwo63@gmail.com Please 🙏

My name is Vince, I’m 21 from Nigeria I need a mother/father figure to adopt me even if it doesn’t lead to adoption just a family I can bond with You can reach me with the email ogheneruhrof@gmail.com thanks. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2022/12/b3796de56a2cf3f7e788ec313522d1bf_view.jpeg[/img]

I am Gabriel Burns. I am 34.I live at 6120 n hanlin ave Azusa california in the United States. I am Hawaiian american. I am searching for my identical twin sisters. I am a triplet. I was born on March 14 1988 in Panama City Panama. My identical sisters names could be Anita Cordoba Arosemena and Teresa Cordoba Arosemena. They are 5 foot 9 with black hair and brown eyes. They have a prominent nose and tan skin color. They were both born on March 14 1988 at the Santo Thomas hospital in Panama. They could have lived in Azusa,glendora California 91740 or Covina California as children. I currently live in Azusa CA. 91702. My email address is pfb787@gmail.com. My sister's address in Panama Could have been altos 11-34 avenida B San Felipe casco Viejo Panama City Panama. You can call me or text me at 661-936-5206. You can email me at pfb787@gmail.com.

They say that there’s no handbook when it comes to parenting. While this is true, Adoptions From The Heart aims to provide prospective parents with as many informative parenting opportunities as possible. To ensure prospective families are making informed decisions when it comes to generating their profiles. One of the ways we do so is by offering educational courses to deepen the understanding of the adoption process. Adoptions From The Heart does its best to ensure all members of the triad have the necessary tools needed for success. This fall, we’ve designed multiple education series for Adoptive Parents with hopes of providing a better understanding of open adoption. Education Courses available to continue your Adoption Education Our first panel, Open Adoption Conversations with Adoptive and Birth Parents, takes place Tuesday, September 27th, from 7:00-8:30 pm. During our Open Adoption Conversations with Adoptive and Birth Parents, we will have 2-3 adoptive families and the birth parents of the families come to talk about their personal experiences with open adoption through Adoptions From The Heart. If you have any questions about the adoption process, placement, planning, or anything relating, this event is for you. To register, be sure to contact MarthaP@afth.org by September 20th. Our second available education course, Adoptive Parents Self-Care Tips: Mental Health & Wellness, takes place Monday, October 3rd, from 7:30-8:30 pm. The goal of this course will be to take a deeper look into Mental Health and Wellness practices during the adoption journey and in the post-adoption season as new parents. AFTH knows that this isn’t always easy to do; it can be mentally draining for both prospective parents and adoptive parents, so it’s essential to take a step back to focus on one’s mental health and wellness. We will address areas of challenge and discuss strategies for self-care. Whether you are waiting to adopt or already home as a placed family, you can learn practical tools for self-care and wellness in this meeting. To register, be sure to contact OliviaS@afth.org by September 26th. The day after, on Tuesday, October 4th, from 6:30-7:30 pm, Adoptions From The Heart is hosting the third ed series of the month, Adopting a Child with Disabilities. During this discussion, we will be joined by families open to speaking about their experience parenting a child with disabilities. Adoptions From The Heart has grown to understand and teach that by having conversations, we eliminate the fear of the unknown. To register, be sure to contact MarilynR@afth.org by September 27th. Our last panel, The Birth Parent Panel, will be a bit similar in the way that a panel of birth parents will discuss the reasons they chose adoption, how they picked their adoptive families, and their current relations with the child and their adoptive family. This panel is an excellent option for prospective parents and expecting parents alike who want to hear about what the realities are for birth parents post-placement. This course will take place on Tuesday, November 15th, from 7:00-8:30 pm. To register, be sure to contact JoanS@afth.org by November 8th. Why are these Education Series so Important? AFTH wants every prospective adoptive parent to feel comfortable and confident in their parenting abilities, especially in open adoption. The education series AFTH provides families cover the basics, from infant and childcare to profiles and our own self sare. Education does not end with your placement. Sometimes even an ounce of reassurance, a little more information, a push forward after having been stuck not knowing what to do next, is all we need. More information and registration for all of these courses are available under the Calendar of Events tab on our website!

Hi, I’m Priya.I’m a 13 year old.My parents get often physical with me.they’re very abusive.they admitted to not liking me. I just want to end all of this.I’m mentally so done.i want to get adopted and start a new life.i don’t know how it’s done.

Birth Mother-Joette Akey, DOB-October 1945, Dallas Tx, May have been in the service at the time of adoption. Joette passed away November 1998. birth father is unknown to me. adoption was in the mid to late 60's.

Hi Everyone, I am new to this. My brother and I both were adopted separately by the same wonderful parents. I found my biological parents when I was younger shortly after I turned 19 years old. However my brother who is older than me, just recently decided to find his biological parents. My brother was born in Stockton California in San Joaquin County. His birthday is December 21, 1970. All we know is that his biological mother and father were married at the time and kept him for a short time, then they decided to give him up for adoption. My brother and I do know that they were over 21 years of age when they gave him up for adoption. Of course, my brother’s adoption was a closed adoption, as it was in 1970. The San Joaquin Department of Public Assistance in San Joaquin partook in the adoption through the San Joaquin Superior Court, through Judge John B. Cechini. My brother is nervous about taking a DNA test. I do realize that taking a DNA test may be his only option towards finding his biological parents. If anyone knows any information in regards to what else I can do to find his biological parents, please feel free to let me know. Thank you so much. My email is mcgrew_karen74@yahoo.com

I was born in Swansea to a 16 year old single Jamaican girl. She tried her best to keep me but the system denied her any support or other options, so I was placed into care at three months of age. I was fostered and finally adopted by a very nice white middle class couple by the age of eighteen months, and settled into place as the youngest of three daughters, my elder sisters being their natural children . Located in South Wales Uk, swansea was a city where during the 1970's, the only black people that the local people had ever seen, were the blacked out faces of The Black and White Minstrel Show. If you're not from the UK, then you've probably never experienced the joy of Saturday evenings, when every family would be glued to the TV set, watching this craziness unfold before them... [[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2021/02/eb7660098386350fa6f631ce9739f0e4_view.jpg[/img] That really summed up the level of cultural enlightenment during this era! My adopted parents loved me. They had spent some time in the Cameroons in East Africa, where my father had been stationed whilst he served as an officer in the Merchant Navy. Upon their return to Wales, they vowed to adopt a black child (My father was a Liberal haha). So after hanging their assortment of African memorabilia in prominent positions all over the house, and purchasing a handful of Calypso LPs (which my father would sing to me), they felt prepared to handle any obstacles that this adoption would throw their way over the following 18 years.... I am now 53, and I can honestly say that the primal wound of being separated from my birth mother, the resulting abondonment issues (that Donald Trump would be proud of), the relentless racist abuse during my childhood from my peers and total strangers, and the ongoing identity crisis have marred my entire adult life. It has been a work in progress, battling social anxiety, addiction and significant inner loneliness. My journey of self discovery has included being reunited with my birth mother (and being un-reunited), re-locating to London to find people that looked like me (I saw black people on the tube during a girl guides day trip to the Commonwealth Centre...), finding endless brothers and sisters...my father was a busy man evidently, finally, feelings of self-acceptance and understanding have begun to creep in...finally. During my journey, I have read some marvellous books, found some life-changing resources...and even learned to cook some West Indian food which my children adore. I've been blessed with four children, the youngest being an added gift as I adopted him from a relative in my adopted family. So I've seen both sides of the coin! I hope that the articles and experiences that I post, and any recommendations that I make, help any adopted people (transracially or otherwise), that see themselves mirrored in my story. I have created two Facebook groups so we can create a little safe haven and community. I've found it so exciting over the years, when I've met another adoptee. So many shared experiences! Please feel free to comment on any posts, join the FB group https://www.facebook.com/groups/www.interracialadoptees and share your thoughts and story with the rest of us. We've Found Our Tribe! Anna

Alcohol and drug addiction can become a major issue in life due to childhood trauma concerning abandonment. I never medaled with drugs or alcohol until I read my dhhr adoption file when I was around 40 years old and I literally went into a spiral down fall from there. The pain was and still is unbearable to the point I don't want to feel anymore.

Some of you may already know that we are adopting our first child here in Zambia. I have had so many people asking questions about the process, and time just seems to be whizzing by (most days!) as things are moving rather quickly in these initial stages. I decided to share where we are at, for our own memories sake, to keep friends and family updated, but also to encourage anyone out there who is on a similar journey. I am a reader, and so I have loved reading of other peoples experiences, and seeing what God is doing in peoples lives through adoption. We started our adoption process in April 2020, as in, we made the decision to find out what our options were. We had hit a few bumps along the road on having biological children, and whilst we have a solution, and we can have biological kids, I just felt God pointing us to adoption. It is so important to me that people understand that adoption is not a plan B, it is not second best, it is not a last resort. It is our first choice. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2020/11/f93ffb92cd5a21ced1af21a9d5497089_view.png[/img] We got in touch with the social workers at House of Moses mid April, as they were the orphanage in Lusaka that friends of ours used. Zambia is different in that they do not use agencies here, you work directly with government social workers and orphanages. They confirmed that as expats we could adopt, which was a huge relief! We were given a list of documents we needed to get together along with a letter to addressed to social welfare explaining why we want to adopt and our request (age, gender, health). Please remember, this is our experience of adoption in Zambia, and every case might not look the same and the systems may change. Documents we needed to submit: NRC Bank statement/payslip Reference letters Police clearance Marriage certificate Medical report (only at government hospital) Early May, we then had our interview (also referred to as a home study/home assessment), with our social worker at House of Moses. Because we live outside of Lusaka, they did this on Zoom. It was about two hours long, very intensive! Which was really encouraging at how thorough they are. It was such a comfort to me that they are Christian, and were also so sensitive towards us as we had to share some difficult information from our pasts. It is not often you find yourself telling someone your entire history from birth! We still had to get our police clearance and medical report done, this was delayed purely from our own schedules as well as Covid. But we eventually got it done and we could then have our next visit. On the 10th June our social worker, Elizabeth Mzeche, here in Mazabuka came to our house to do the home visit and go through all our paperwork and application. We had a couple of changes to make and then our application was delivered to Lusaka on the 21st June. We had initially been told it could take anything between 2-4 weeks, but that there might be delays to Covid. Catch phrase of 2020! Naturally, as soon as we hit the end of 4 weeks I got in contact to see if there was any news, which there was none. Our social workers have been so kind and gracious towards me, with all my questions, and I am so grateful for Gods presence in all this. Then, completely out of the blue, on the 6th August, I received a message from Elizabeth asking if I had received my copy of the approval letter as she had just received hers. I could not believe it, so unexpected, but what was just miraculous, was the letter was dated 24th June, which means our application was processed and approved in less than 3 days?! That is a miracle, nothing happens that quickly, ever? So it was either waiting to be printed, to be taken to a different desk, to be taken to be signed, and then sent out for delivery, and or floated about somewhere in the postal system. Who knows where the delay was, but quite frankly, I am so thankful to God for the miracle! Our name has been added to the list of families wanting to adopt, and now, we wait to be matched to a baby. Our request was a boy or girl, under 12 months of age, as young as possible! They work with the Child Protection Unit to do family tracing on the child, then once that is done, a police clearance report is written to clear the child for adoption. So that will all take time. Hopefully, in the not to distant future, we will get the call to say we can go meet our child! We then have to spend some time with the child at the orphanage to go through a bonding/attachment period. Once that is done, then we get to take our baby home on a 3 month fostering agreement. Once that is done, then we do the adoption paperwork. It is all quite a process! I had a bit of a wobble around the time of our application being submitted, there were just so many unknowns and not knowing if I would be holding a baby in 2 months or 12 months or more was freaking me out. But I realised that I could ruin this season by allowing myself to be consumed with mistrust, impatience, doubt, fear, ingratitude, and even what was probably pride and selfishness. I didn’t want to look back on this season of my life and see how I had missed the happiness because I was being so self focussed. So I gave it all to God, and He provided me with such a peace and patience which I am so grateful for. This is a journey, and there have been and will be tough days, but I am keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus in this. Also, I am enjoying our time without kids. I am in a season now where I am looking forward to a bit of chaos in our lives, and even the sleepless nights and endless nappies. I know that it won’t be long before I will find myself wondering what it is like to have time all to ourselves and what on earth were we thinking having kids. But, I also know, having seen it in so many women, that there will will come a time, as our baby grows up, that I will miss the season of chaos. Every season has it’s mix of chaos and bliss. So we are enjoying our time, where we are at now, and I am reading and doing the odd bit of shopping … We would love you to pray with us on this journey. For our hearts, for our marriage, for our baby, for the birth parents, for their salvation and healing, for our social workers. The proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child” could not be more true. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2020/11/05d076c4e9f65a735c21f614113dc58d_view.png[/img] If you have questions about adoption, please do ask me, or someone, or Google. Adoption has never been a foreign concept to us, but I appreciate that for many people this is not the case, and there are questions. But don’t leave those questions unasked, not just for your sake, but for everyone’s. x A common, often unasked, question: “How will you love a child that is not your ‘own’?” They are my own, they just didn’t come from my body. I will love them the same way I love my husband, who is also not a blood relative. By choosing to, every day, for the rest of our lives.

Hello Looking for some input on out of state adoption. We live in a small state, so we were looking to go elsewhere as well. Was it difficult? How were visits managed? How long did it take? Paperwork? Etc. thanks for your help!

In this blog I will be promoting different resources, groups, studies, and advice for those effected by post adoption or post birth maternal separation disorder. No matter if your symptoms be an inability to connect to babies or physical PTSD you get for a reason you don't remember, this is a blog that may help you and those around you.

I’m feeling even more defeated lately than I normally do. I was adopted in family at birth and was raised as my family secret. I had started questioning things at an early age, but was lied to from the start. The differences I noticed and the connections I wasn’t able to form seemed to be blamed on me for not being up to par with my adoptive siblings. At 16, my depression forced my adoptive parents hand and they admitted that I am in fact adopted and that my birth mother was someone I was familiar with — my aunt. This was at first welcome news because I knew her, I knew my older siblings. I could see myself. The problem started creeping in once it started to sink in. I knew her. She had older kids. She raised them. She relinquished me. Naturally, I was consumed with questions and the realization that I had been lied to for years. After some time in therapy, I decided to reach out to her. My birth mom started telling conflicting stories and wouldn’t outright say that she did give birth to me. Just recently, I’m 26 now, I was informed that she had been attending my adopted siblings events and taking them to lunch randomly. She’s also starting to take on more of a “mom” role with her grandkids and seemingly flaunting their closeness in my face. I’ve tried many times to get straight answers from her, but she seems to want to change details as she seems necessary. Then in person, when she is around me she wants to be around me as if I’m not aware that she’s lying. I’m not really sure how to proceed with this anymore or if I should keep trying at all. It’s caused more than enough damage in my life, but I’m not sure how to tell my adoptive dad that I cannot be around her. It makes him choose between his baby sister and his daughter. I feel like I’m losing myself all over again trying to figure out why she didn’t want me, how she continues to deliberately reject me, why she seeks out relationships with everyone around me. I haven’t pushed her for anything other than the truth. I also understand that she may not want a relationship with me. What I don’t understand is her asking questions about me to everyone around me instead of having a real conversation with me.

Hello everyone, I’ve recently underwent a hysterectomy for endometrial cancer and have come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be able to have my own children. While I am still undecided about whether adoption is right for me, I feel I could help those parents in the process of international adoptions. I work as a flight attendant which means I have flight benefits which essentially means I can “fly for free.” With that being said I know adoption, especially internationally can be very costly. I know many countries require you to personally pick up your child and these flight costs can be very high. If it’s possible I would like to serve as a surrogate of sorts, in the role of picking up these babies and bringing them home to their new families. Does anyone know if this is a service I could legally offer or how to go about doing so?

IF YOU ARE AN ADOPTED PARENT WHO CANT DEAL WITH YOUR ADOPTED CHILD ANYMORE YOU CAN ASK ME FOR HELP

I just wanted to share my story and hopefully it helps someone going through this scary similar process. I share a child with this man named (let’s call him) Gary. I got pregnant when I was very young and from the moment I had my child (let’s call him) Josh , I knew being a mother was the most important thing to me in the world. Gary and I fought constantly and sometimes unfortunately it would turn physical. You see it’s hard for me to say Gary actually ever cared about being a father, because to me it was more of a means to control me. I won’t bore you with our complicated past.. anyways after fighting in court and having his family hire an expensive attorney against me we had to come up with a parenting plan. Gary was to see Josh two days a week at his parents house and pay the lowest amount of child support possible. Gary also had to summit clean urine samples when the court asked because of his drug court orders. (Oh yes, he also has a drug and alcohol issue) . Anyways, Gary stopped coming to visits. Never paid one dime of his court ordered child support and moved to an other state without even notifying me. It has been over 6 years since Gary has had any communication with Josh. I happily got married a few years ago to a wonderful man who loves Josh as his own. So after hearing Gary had yet an other fail with his rehab I decided it was time to take action. I was terrified but knew it was the best thing to do for Josh. I hired an attorney and I suggested if you are going this rout you hire an experienced attorney with step parent adoption and TPRs. Also be prepared because it does get expensive, but completely worth it in the end. I knew Gary was not going to consent the adoption because he is a person that needs to be in control. He is all fine for someone else to raise his child and take care of him physically/emotionally/ and financially.. but in no way does that give them the write to be called his father (the world he lives in is a Delusional one). So we started the process back in February. It took a few weeks to find him because he did move to an other state but once he was served half the battle was already over with. Once he was served a hearing was scheduled. He had a little over 3 months to figure out how to come back to our state and hire an attorney of his own. In my case I was lucky... he put more effort to request to appear by phone than anything else. He never hired an attorney because people like Gary like to think that they are a lot smarter than what they really are. So hearing was in the beginning of April. My attorney was ready. The judge placed the phone call and that’s when the nerves over took me. It starts off by the judge swearing both parties in. Since Gary was representing himself he got to talk a lot more than I did. I was restricted to yes and no responses only and to be honest it drove me nuts. Gary went above and beyond. He blamed me for his drug and alcohol problems . He blamed me on why he moved (even though I hadn’t spoken to him years prior) He blamed me on why he never kept up with Josh. He even went as far to state he had given my child support checks, I would just never cash them, and if I did I would bunch them together and cash them all at once to make his account over draft. ( that made me sick to my stomach) I was being verbally attacked.. and every time my lawyer would try to interject.. she was over ruled. At that moment I was accepting defeat. I looked at my husband with tears filling up my eyes and at this point I had to try my hardest to toon out all the lies that were being said about me. I began to look at my attorney with eyes yelling at her saying DO SOMETHING!!!! Then the court room for quit. The judge looked our way and asked my attorney why this adoption was in the best interest for Josh. My attorney responded with state law facts on child abandonment in our state. She then focused on Josh’s relationship with my husband. How my husband has done all the work... so why can’t he receive the credit and honor of being his father. The judge asked Gary why Josh shouldn’t be adopted. This is where Gary shot himself in the foot. He began rambling on about how he takes full responsibility for not being there for Josh, but that at the end of the day it was my doing. He kept saying over and over again how he would do anything in the world for Josh and would even move back to the states and take Josh to see a child Psychologist to wein Gary into Josh’s life. At the point the judge then calmly asked him.... then why are you not here now? At that moment I felt like I could breathe again. For someone who had almost half a year to present evidence and make arrangements to attend an very important hearing .. he spent more time bad mouthing me and filing motions to appear by phone. When the judge overruled my lawyer he wasn’t doing to because he felt Gary was on to something, he did it because he was absorbing all the BS. He saw right through it. This is the very 1st time that this particular judge waved a biological fathers consent for stepparent adoption. I was in complete shock. The judge even went as far to thank my husband for everything he has done and he feels that Josh is better off having him as a father. At the end of the day we met all the requirements for child abandonment. Despite Gary saying he was ready now to be a dad.. he was 6 years too late. Hope this story helps someone in a similar situation. And remember at the end of the day all these judges care about is what’s best for the child. I’m not saying that only because we won. Watching my judge actually Absorbing every single word that was said and giving us a change to explain why both parties feel their position is best for the child meant everything. It’s hard to listen to the terrible things the other parent will say about you.. but remember none of that matters and the more reserve you are, the better for you and your child. Best of luck.

Does anyone know/has anyone heard of an independent adoption family getting adoption assistance? Our boys are special needs. The court system has been involved but they have never been in foster care. Adoption assistance would be helpful but more so for them to keep Medicaid. Thanks!

I’m not an adoption professional. What I am is an expert on how it feels to be adopted. I’m an international adoptee. I hold a wealth of knowledge and understanding about living in the skin of adoption. I was born in England. Not in London, but in a smaller place known as Bury St Edmunds. Bury St Edmunds is a town in West Suffolk on the River Lark. It is of an ancient ruin and is said to have been the site of a Roman villa and later a royal Saxon town. Bury St Edmunds is named for Saint Edmund—king of the East Angles—killed by the Danes around 870, and is buried there. I tell you this not because I’m a historian, but because I hold a deep sense of pride in where I am from and from where I was adopted. My bio mother delivered me into this world on a cold January morning. My bio father wasn’t at the delivery. He didn’t see the tears my mum cried; tears streaked with the heavy emotion of a mother preparing to relinquish her daughter to foster care. I wasn’t taken from my mum there at the little hospital in Bury St Edmunds. No, Mum cared for me for several days after my birth. Imagine, holding your baby, rocking your little one to sleep, touching tender-soft skin, smelling the sweet scent of your new child—all along knowing there would soon be a difficult goodbye. Imagine, feeling the touch of your mother and then having that taken from you. A child remembers these things, from a central and core place within. The severing is never forgotten. From the arms of my bio mother, I was placed into the arms of my foster mother. I have notes from my foster mother that I read to this day. Notes that are written in blue ink, on soft blue paper, neatly folded and placed into matching envelopes. My foster mother wrote of how I didn’t like my baths but loved being outside. She noted that I seemed to be content dressed in the beautiful sweaters and booties that my bio mother had knitted, during the months that I grew inside of her. My foster mother’s role was a temporary one, but also a critical one—offering stability and love to children like me who didn’t yet have a family to call their own. I’m told that she shed a tear when I was taken from her care. I’m told that she said she would miss me. Read full blogpost, here: http://michellemadridbranch.com/honoring-bio-foster-and-adoptive-mothers/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/06/9fc3671cdf6824c096cceba699188de9_view.jpg[/img]

Hello! My name is Morgan and my significant others name is Andrew. We are unable to have children naturally and are looking to adopt! We are on waiting lists now but have been told it can take many years so we are hoping to find someone willing to do a private adoption possibly! Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you soon! E mail mmmmmmorgs@icloud.com

We are Mara & James from NY and we are hoping to grow our family 1 more time through adoption. Our family includes a stay at home mom, a devoted hard working dad and two 5 year olds who are hoping for a baby brother or sister. We are hoping to meet an expectant mom looking to make an adoption plan through our own connections and networking and appreciate everyone's help in liking and sharing our posts. jamesandmara2adopt@gmail.com www.jamesandmara2adopt.wordpress.com facebook.com/wehope2adopt call us toll free: 844-279-6652 https://mybabysfamily.com/JamesandMara

I am looking for a male coparent for stepparent adoption . The father of my newborn son who is only a few days old has left me once I told him I was pregnant. I would like to find a loving father who does not have the ability to have his own children to be a father to my son. I would like to keep my role as his mother as i love him very much. My son can live between both households and we can share custody once a relationship is established as his father.

I’m an international adoptee. I’m also the parent of two children delivered into my life via adoption from Russia and Ethiopia. We’re an international family created through adoption. We love each other and we have so much fun together. We are also Americans; immigrants to the U.S. and citizens by naturalization. We contribute and we serve this nation, our community, our family, and our friends. Recently, I read a staggering statistic: International adoption by Americans has declined by 81% since 2004. And, crippling new policies and practices are projected to completely end international adoption within the next five years. (How to Solve the U.S. International Adoption Crisis, by Nathan Gwilliam, Ron Stoddart, Robin Sizemore, and Tom Velie, adoption.com, March 19, 2018) I couldn’t believe my eyes! Is international adoption really in danger of ending for Americans by 2022? If so, how have we arrived at this dark hour? Furthermore, who are we as a country if we are willing to risk the possibility that orphaned children around the world might not have a place to call home, in America? UNICEF estimates that 15.1 million orphans around the world have lost both of their parents. According to the adoption.com article that I noted above, “International adoptions by U.S. adoptive parents decreased from 22,989 in 2004 to 5,370 in 2016. We believe international adoptions dropped to about 4,600 in 2017 (although the 2017 total has not yet been publicly released). The director of IAAME, the new Accrediting Entity, stated they are working under an assumption of only 4,200 intercountry adoptions in 2018. This is an 81% decline in international adoptions by Americans. If this trend line continues, international adoptions will completely end by 2022.” Why is this happening? Let me quote another leading voice in the adoption community, Former United States Senator and former Co-Chair of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption, Mary Landrieu, who recently said, “Congress passed the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption believing that this action would pave the way for a more ethical, transparent and streamlined process for inter-country adoption… Sadly, several years later, it is clear that this decision was a tragic mistake. Instead of shoring up the process and providing support for sending countries, the State Department has twisted the intent of the treaty to close one country after another. The process has become far more cumbersome and far less transparent. American parents who want to help and lovingly raise a child are often made to feel like criminals. As a result, intercountry adoptions have fallen to an historic low, and they continue to decrease each year as the need of desperate, abandoned, and orphaned children increases. Major change is required now before it’s too late.” The Office of Children’s Issues (OCI) says that they are implementing a “re-interpretation of adoption regulations” in order to protect children from child trafficking. Yet, within this push to re-interpret policies and practices, is the OCI ignoring the negative impact on the children who were not able to be adopted into loving and permanent families? Read the full article: http://michellemadridbranch.com/saving-international-adoption/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/03/f6e0910d1c4d8894a760db50aa9c348f_view.jpg[/img]

Perfect people. Perfect Children. Perfect Parents. Perfect homes. Perfect lives. Perfect families. The images are everywhere in the media today. I’m standing at my local grocery store checkout counter and staring at magazine covers with the images of perfect humans, perfect outfits, perfect bodies for those outfits, perfect places to travel, and perfect cars to get you there. I, on the other hand, have my hair up in a mommy bun and my glasses are a little crooked on my nose. As I look down in an attempt to straighten my eyewear, I see clearly that I — in my hurried attempt to get my kids to school on time — left the house with my furry slippers still on my feet. I’m not perfect. The thought of perfection actually stresses me out. It causes me anxiety. Having to live up to someone else’s expectations for who I am and how I should show up in this world is, well, daunting. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried it. I have jumped — head first — into the unforgiving waters of perfection. I nearly drowned. Perfection isn’t real. It’s a facáde created to sell stuff to the masses who have fallen into the false belief that perfection is somehow possible. The pressure to be perfect can be felt within our families. And, for families created through adoption, the pressure of perfection can be of a constant nature. Here are three reasons why I believe we must reject perfection as a standard for adoptive families... Follow this link to read more: http://michellemadridbranch.com/3-reasons-to-reject-perfection-adoptive-families/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/e6a8257ca0d8615ff9779bd333463e16_view.jpg[/img]

This is my story (the short, 1,000 word version). I've published it on my own personal blog, so I will just link it here so as not to have the content showing up in two separate places on the web. For context, my son is now eight years old. Though it is an open adoption, the pain and trauma of this experience has led me to stop visiting all together. We will reconnect when he is 18, if he wants to. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/c2e6aaede34caf14032a93aa19a0311d_view.jpg[/img] https://freeupyourplate.com/2018/02/21/i-gave-up-my-baby-for-adoption/

Two years ago I stood in St Peters Square surrounded by one hundred thousand people to witness the canonization of the Saint of the Gutters. The atmosphere was electric, palpable, and as Pope Francis pronounced her a Saint, I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. It was a very special moment, not just because here we were witnessing something momentous, but because, Mother Teresa has personally touched me and my family. Those ripples she talks about in the quote above, well one of them was me. Let me tell you my story. I must been about six years old when I first met Mother Teresa and visited Sishu Bhavan in Calcutta. Though the memory is now clouded, the visit left a big imprint, so much so that I was drawn back frequently. Initially I would beg my parents to take me back there whenever we transited through Calcutta. As I grew older and we moved around, we always found a Mother Teresa home close by to visit. The habit continued even when I left home to join university. You see, the big attraction was the babies. I was born with an inherent gene that made me hopelessly madly in love with babies. And so I could spend hours there, helping feed them, or carry them or just watch other people feed and carry them and I would be contented. My heart would bleed to think that here were babies who were abandoned and if I thought I could have gotten away with it, I would have happily smuggled some of them home. But of course I knew I couldn’t. Instead I decided that as soon as I could, I would adopt a baby. I must say here though, that yes, initially it was all about the babies, but later it was also about so much more. Mother Teresa’s example of selfless love and service to humanity touched my family to a great extent. My parents themselves were altruistic and we grew up watching, learning and soon practicing ourselves, just how to live our faith and give back to the community with our time or whatever other resources we had to share. Well, I grew up, like most little girls do. Many other childhood dreams and ambitions were forgotten or deemed silly, but this one desire kept burning bright. In my final year of university, I met my prince charming and quite soon into our relationship I dragged him one Saturday afternoon to spend time with the babies. He was a trooper. He got that this was a big deal to me. Over the next few years we talked about adoption a lot. He listened patiently, asked questions and brought up concerns. But my battle plans were drawn and I was well prepared with facts and testimonies. I took him to more orphanages and adoption workshops. I read him excerpts of books. I knew one hundred percent that we could love a child we had not conceived as much as one that had grown in my belly. To be honest though, he didn’t need much convincing. We made a pact. We would have biological children, and adopt one too. We had our first child a year after getting married and the pregnancy and parenthood was everything and more than we had imagined. Life was perfect. We treasured each milestone and enjoyed watching our first born grow. Around the time she started school we knew the time had come to plan for baby number two. We began the initial paperwork required for adoption and the wait began. Though shorter, it was every bit as exciting as the nine months of pregnancy. We looked for names and prepared our families and friends. Our immediate families were very supportive but we did meet with many who asked, “But why, when you have your own?” Most often we just smiled and just said “Because we want to”. And so at 28, my lifelong dream came true and on July 27th 2003, we brought Ryeika Teresa, all of two months old, into our hearts and lives. As I held her that first time, the tears flowed freely. We looked at her angelic face, the sparkling eyes and felt such a gut wrenching tug of emotion (the good kind). We were so blessed to have been given the honor of being her parents. Her name Ryeika means ‘unique’ and Teresa is for the little bent lady, the one in the blue and white sari who held hundreds of babies in her arms, who fought for their right to live. She believed that they were all, each and every one of them a gift from God. In the next couple of years we went on to have two more biological children and today I am the proud mother of four girls. Life is full, I am blessed and the circle of life continues. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to attend the canonization ceremony with my husband and our four girls. I feel blessed that Ryeika was able to witness the person who inspired her parents, who delivered her into our hearts, be proclaimed a Saint. I have read some disheartening articles in the media recently criticizing Mother Teresa. While I cannot but agree that perhaps some of her practices were outdated and her dogma could be perceived as harsh, the simple truth is that she helped scores and scores of people. She gave dignity to the dying. She set up hospitals and schools in areas of the world where life has little value, and built safe havens for babies of unwed mothers or women who, because of poverty or other circumstances had to leave their children at her doorstep. I have seen personally how the nuns from her order look after the aged, the sick, the HIV positive, the children with deformities and I wonder, if they did not do it, then who? I have met so many of her nuns, Europeans, Americans, Asians, Africans; brilliant, well educated, charismatic women, who could have had great careers and the world at their feet. And yet they chose to give up all that and wear the blue and white, dedicating their lives to service and simplicity of a whole different kind. And the beauty about them was that they were all so happy and contented. In spite of tough conditions and bone tiring work, they were always cheerful. I till date have never met a grumpy Mother Teresa nun. So perhaps more than all the work and charity and selfless giving that Mother Teresa did, day in and day out, what marks her for sainthood, is the influence she has had on a plethora of people. People who, inspired by her example, were prompted to go out and make a difference, be kind, lend a ear, pray or do a little bit of charity and change somebody’s life in whatever small way. The ripples....some small, some big, but all so very significant. Saint Teresa of Calcutta, yes you cast the stone across the waters. So glad one ripple touched me. You inspired me. You touched my life. Thank You. To read our full adoption story, pick up my personal memoir, now out on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Little-Girls-Dream-Letter-Daughter-ebook/dp/B0785S5HL8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518092023&sr=8-1&keywords=sanchita+lobo #adoption #special needs

I am an explorer. As an adoptee, I have explored the depths of my soul to find a meaning to the earliest parts of my history. I have ventured out, and within, to seek unknown parts of myself. I have tracked many a mile to uncover my identity and to dismantle the titles given to me by others. Titles that did not serve me in a positive life outcome. I believe that all adoptees are explorers. In some way, we are all searching, seeking, and looking for answers to who we are and why we’re here. We’re trackers of truth. At some moment in our lives, a severing took place that catapulted us into a situation we had no control over. Free falling — or so it seemed — we landed into lives that we were not born of, but were destined for. Earlier worlds unravel and somewhere in our distant minds, our first families are kept as a memory. Reunion, or the thought of reunification, gets stored in a mental file called fantasy. A place where we probe the “what if” of someday reconnecting with birth family. Sometimes, fantasy becomes reality and we find ourselves face-to-face with that unraveled world. A world that — on some level — unnerves us and, at the same time, delights our senses. Might someone, connected to us by DNA, offer us the gift of coloring in all those pieces of ourselves left blank? Could members of our birth family fill in the holes within us left hollow by abandonment? Secretly, we hope so. And, quietly, we pray. I did. I prayed, and I hoped. For years, I wanted someone to help me understand the mystery of my story — a mystery that held me distant from myself. Therefore, I put much stock into the idea of a reunion as a vehicle to aide me in arriving at my truth. And, so I wrote a letter while in my teens. It was addressed to my birthmother in England. I did not have her physical address — only her name. I sent the letter to the main office of the Royal Air Force, where I knew that my mum’s husband once served. The letter began something like this: If you have opened this envelope, I want to say thank you. If you are reading my words, I want you to promise not to throw this letter away. You see, I need an angel right now… I went on to briefly explain my situation and the story of my earliest life. I wrote how desperately I needed to find my birthmother in order to reunite and, as was my prayer, to heal what had been broken inside. Read more: http://michellemadridbranch.com/reuniting-worlds-one-adoptees-thoughts-on-birth-family-reunification/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/49a3eb61bc69e5de238f5f965e9e11bc_view.jpg[/img]

Michelle: Was adoption something that was always on your heart, Rachel? Or was there a moment, or experience that you recall that awakened you to this form of family building? Rachel: I’ve always worked with kids and loved kids. I worked as a nanny, at a day care… I was a writing camp counselor. I babysat friend’s kids, always for fun, never for pay. I just love being around children, so I think I always knew we were going to have children, but I didn’t do a lot of planning on how that was going to happen, just because I was finishing my college degree, and then we got married. I got married when I was twenty one. About four or five years into our marriage, we started thinking about having kids. At that point, the big thing happened. I had been sick for about a year and a half and I went to five different medical professionals and no one could figure out what was wrong with me. I was misdiagnosed with anorexia, and being a hypochondriac, and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when I entered into a state called, diabetic ketoacidosis. My body was shutting down. Multiple doctors came into my room and said, “I don’t know how you are alive, this is a miracle.” And I knew in that moment—because I knew that Type 1 could make a pregnancy potentially dangerous—that we would choose adoption. Now, my husband wasn’t on board yet, but I was like, “This is what we are doing.” Adoption is a really difficult decision for a lot of people, it was not for me. I just knew. Read the full interview, here: http://michellemadridbranch.com/interview-with-author-adoptive-mother-rachel-garlinghouse/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/01/d430366a77b98ed0709fce03e2b8d48b_view.png[/img]

This is my first blog/post. I'm new to this group. I'm not American, but I hope to heal by taking my first step and here I am. I'm not sure how this works, or will work, but I do have a goal - I hope to start a Facebook group to support the people in my area so I'm hoping to learn a thing or two from Adoption.com. Here's my story - in brief - because we can all write a book about our own lives, so. I was adopted when I was a baby. I was raised by a beautiful family, I was only told I was adopted when I was 18. When I was told so, it wasn't under any normal circumstances. I was told I was adopted when I was pregnant with my firstborn - I was assaulted by my boyfriend and he knocked me up - and left me to rot. I decided to put my daughter up for adoption because I couldn't give her anything good, let alone a home. This was in 2001. Fast forward to 2017, she was told that she was adopted. And then she found me. It was a closed adoption, but she found me, her parents found me, for her. Our story isn't unique, but it can be empowering to some. There are so many emotional and mental rollercoasters that we've both went through. It's too difficult to write them all unless I decide to be a hermit and start writing a book about it to help people like me, like her. I was wondering if anyone could advise me what do I need to do if I were to start a local association or a help group of any sort to bring together people like me or the wonderful parents who've adopted my daughter, together. Often times, we feel trapped because we have no one but online strangers to talk to. But I hope to change that in my community, or even country. I want to help. Thank you for listening.

If there is one thing I know for sure, it’s this: the adoption community is a healthier one when its experiences and stories are shared out loud. We’ve learned, over many years, that silencing the voices and perceptions of those within our community will never help to forge deeper levels of understanding and inclusion. What was once thought as a healthy choice: distancing adoptees from the truth of their birth stories, is now known to be of great disadvantage to their overall well-being. We’ve learned the importance of supporting and hearing all members of the adoption triad. We’ve arrived to an empowering place within the adoption conversation as we speak this declaration: the adoption community will no longer be treated as a secret society. Every member of this community — adoptee, adoptive parent, and birth parent — has a story that needs to be heard. We’re standing up, speaking up, and sharing truths that were once kept in the shadows. It’s a brand new day! I have launched a new Facebook group called, Adoption Out Loud. This group exists as a channel of communication for all those touched by adoption. No matter the experience, or point of view, there is a place for everyone here. Adoption Out Loud represents a safe space and an opportunity to expand our community’s ability to understand and to be understood. When we share our voices, authentically and respectfully, we heal and we grow. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/365091660591515/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/01/e066bd989d75ad921112aa872daf9481_view.png[/img]