I am an adoptee. I am completely supportive of adoption. Every person and every situation is different. I may not understand the reasons one decides to place a child for adoption, but I always support the decision. I could never place a child. I am selfish when it comes to my kids. I was not in a good position financially when I had either of them. I have never been able to give them all the things that they asked for or take them all the places they wanted to go. That aside, I have always felt I am the best person to raise them. I don't feel like anyone can love them, take care of them, or protect them the way I can because I am their mother. I recognize that is not always the case. I respect other people's choices not to parent. Despite my feelings as a mother I believe there is a tremendous amount of strength on adoption. The thought of taking a person who was physically attached to me for nine months and passing them to someone else is unbearable to me. In that position, that act would break me. It would end me. There would be no way to repair the shattered pieces of my former self. For those in open adoption, to see that child again and again would be like a knife stabbing me in the chest with every breath. I don't know where you find the strength, but I'm glad you do. For the parents who adopt, it must take great courage and confidence to raise a child who starts off as a stranger to you. I don't even like other people's children that much. I can't imagine moving one in and giving him or her the same love and affection as a biological child. Yet I know that you do because I was that child. It's not a charade or facade. It's real because I felt it. In recent years I have read too many stories of adoption wrapped in trauma and loss. What we need more of are tales of everyday people sporting invisible capes. I see you. No, adoptees should not be obligated to "give thanks" to their adoptive parents. They should feel thankful though. Adoption shouldn't be about sadness or emotional injuries. Adoption is about love and life and family.

I am looking for my half brother who was born 11-1-1966 at OSF Peoria, IL and was name Gary Lee. He was adopted shortly around the same time. I have information about his BF and of course BM which is my mother. I am very interested in finding him and seeing if wanting to learn about his birthfamily

Hey, i am Alicia and i am 24 years old. I am a nursing mother of a 4 month old baby girl, looking for a parent or parents to Adopt her. Please reach out if any interests . (cee.cyndee25@gmail.com)[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2017/06/c7431a2a81919ad4098c0805653df353_view.jpg[/img]

I am posting to this site as my first real attempt to find my brother. I know his original first name was William(Bill) and that he was born on October 25, 1956, at Augustana Hospital in Chicago, IL. All of my life, I was told by my mother that he died a few days after he was born. So I never questioned it. Then when my mother died in 1982(my father died in 1959) I found a journal of my grandmother. She was actually my step-grandmother and not a very nice lady. In this journal, she states that my brother was given up for adoption to St. Vincent dePaul Hon on 12/08/1956. I did not believe this at first due to this woman's history of lies and meaness. After thinking about it, I realized that since we were Catholics, if the baby had died, he would of had to be buried and my mother and I never visited a grave. When my father died, we visited his grave daily for six months and then frequently after that. This lead me to believe the adoption story might be true. So here I am, the sister who has no legal right to the closed adoption records and no living family members to confirm or deny. I actually do not know for sure the last name that would have been on my brother's birth certificate, possiibly Villano or Crowley or ? If anyone who was adopted, looking for birth family member and was born on 10/25/56, please contact me.

Okay laugh at me if you want to especially if you read my last words in the last post. I think there is purpose behind just about everything and I think the puppy care was preperation so that I would know I could do it and so that we would say 'yes'. I have no idea where this little angel's case is headed. I have absolutely no information-very frustrating. She could leave tomorrow, or stay forever-no clue. I don't even know why she was removed. I only know two other siblings are in care, not adopted, and that the foster home could not take a baby but that the siblings are very attached to this foster home. I don't have time to write much just that we are in love. She has Eli's skin tone, but other then that their features are very different, though everyone thinks they do (whatever...kind of annoying.) I was told we were getting a 6 week old baby boy felt 100% at peace with saying "yes" immediatly even though in the back of my mind I have felt for a long time the next baby will be a girl not a boy. I called dh immediatly he was gung ho, gave myself an hour to think about it, felt absolutely good about saying "yes" talked with Eli's worker and made sure it was not going to jeapordize anything with his adoption. I then called and said 'yes!' That evening I came home---such a long story!---to a perfect 6 week old baby who was dressed in pink. I told BIL (very long story as to why he was there) "wait a minute this is supposed to be a boy" he said "I haven't checked out the packaging but I'm pretty sure this is a girl." My BIL was soooo sweet. He took care of her for me until I could get home. In my heart I feel something significant. I go with my feelings here and wow am I in love. I'm crying just typing this. Anyway she is an angel baby. She fusses only when she is hungry. she is already cooing and smiling. she has almond eyes, cute chubby cheeks, and a head full of soft curls-her t-shirt she was wearing when she came said "I love my hair!" Eli LLLLLOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS her!!! Well so far anyway. He is very sweet with her. He is a loving little guy. busy but loving and always has been. He gave her a kiss and he doesn't give those out often. He says "awwwwwwww b..b..b...". Translation "oh how I love you baby girl" constantly. I sort of let him hold her while I was holding her and he did not want to give her up. He sat for a good 10 minutes which is equivelant to an hour for him :) DD's think she is the little princess. The coolest thing is that we adopted a kitten from the humane society on the same day. I adore animals, all animals, I always have. Ask my parents how many strays I brought home they have several stories. Then there are animals that are special to me, this kitten, which was sort of going to be the "puppy" the girls wanted was not intended but we all knew immediatly she was for our family. Thinking about raising a puppy, its just not a good time for us, so we compromised with a litter trained kitty. THe girls have been playing with her and set up their room as a kitty palace. They spent all their savings (exactly $15 and change) on kitty toys, a tunnel, made a her 4 beds in various places... Dh went to meet her after we had lunch together as a family and he's friends with the vet who cares for the animals at the humand society so they let him take him immediatly. They are currently over capacity with cats, totally meant to be that we found this sweet kitty. She is a character. I'm more of a dog person but I LOVE my kitties too. So we got home from that and I received the call about the baby "boy." What a week. Wow have to run. L I had a bad winter taking care of two babies...and questioned if I could do it again.

So finally today was the day, we are now finally able to proceed to adopt our little boy!!! It was mostly uneventful. I did testify that I hadn't had any contact and I was jittery because I don't think I've ever been sworn in and it was a weird moment for me I hadn't thought of before. Anyway it was a happy day for me, for the social workers, for everyone in the court room. But I will admit when the judge terminated Eli's birth mothers rights, there was a moment of sadness that overwhelmed me for what she will miss. It is what it is, though, and this is the choice she made and I am grateful she walked away for the sake of her little boy. She knows he is okay, thanks to Maya's mother's friends and that connection. I am forever grateful for that. Well now its just a matter of time. I've got to retain a lawyer and file our petition to adopt, hopefully before the week is over. I have all the information compiled and we've done it before. All the fun repeated fingerprints...gotta get the ball rolling. I'm not going to waste a minute of time. I needed this, Eli needed this. What a happy day!!!

[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2017/05/a7d125982b7c8e74dee3e2e357790d6f_view.jpg[/img] I have a story to tell. It’s not a short one, but this is the beginning. I’m the inquisitive type. Stubborn. Both emotional and logical. At three days old I met my parents. My father wore a blue suit with a yellow tie. My mother laid me on her stomach in the hotel room and I smiled up at her when her tummy rumbled. She always said, “You may not have grown under my heart, but you grew in it.” I knew that I was loved. Always. A few times in elementary school I was teased about being adopted. “Your mom must not have loved you. That’s why she gave you up. That’s why nobody likes you.” It never bothered me. I laughed at them. My mom always made sure my brother and I knew that we were chosen. We were never mistakes. They prayed for us for years. That never stopped me from being curious. Where did I come from? What was my story? Did I look like someone out there? Do I have biological siblings? What’s the strength of nature vs. nurture? Did she care about me? Did she want to meet me? She’s like me, I know it. She’ll want to meet me. Prepare for the worst. Protect your heart. She might not be what you think. She may not want you. She might be a drug addict. She might be dead. She’s not your family. You have a family. Family doesn’t have to be blood. Family is a bond. Where does she live? I love you, daddy. I love you, mommy. You are my angels. Thank you for this life. Thank you for everything. Thank you for picking me. Thank you for loving me, even when I don’t deserve your pureness. I love you. Do you know how much I love you? Does she have my eyes? Does she want to meet me? Read More: https://sarahfittravels.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/adopted/?frame-nonce=d2d521d219

Alcohol and drug addiction can become a major issue in life due to childhood trauma concerning abandonment. I never medaled with drugs or alcohol until I read my dhhr adoption file when I was around 40 years old and I literally went into a spiral down fall from there. The pain was and still is unbearable to the point I don't want to feel anymore.

A very good friend of mine gave me some advice...really without knowing she was giving me advice. But it was exactly what I needed at that particular minute in time. She told me about "stepping back and finding the love of self to fulfill ones self". And in that one minute I got it. It was like a revelation. I am looking so hard into my relationship with J lookig for some type of "fulfillment". And when I was not getting what I thought I needed, it caused this depression for lack of a better word, this funk, that maybe she backed way off because finding me was enough for her. And I wanted more. But now, I am no longer going to look at my reunion, or lack there of, in that same light. I am stepping into 2008 looking at this as my self love and self fulfillment. Having J want me in her life would have been phenomenally great. Having my buncle and his family in my life, fabulous too. But my lightbulb above my head has gone off. And that is when I figured out that I am no less happy than I was before they arrived in my life. I am no less me for them choosing not to be a part of it. I am enriched with the knowledge that I have been given about my past. I am not angry anymore. I am not going to spend anymore time on what if or what might be. Life is too short. I am content. And for my friend who gave me this gift, I am eternally grateful.

Whether or not you are pro choice or pro life, adoption always comes into the issue. Adoption is not a means of birth control and for those who say adoption is better should be aware that it causes negative effects to the child and the birth mother. Abortion also causes grief for the mother and death for the fetus in a beginning stage of life. Birth control and sex education in young people is the only tool in stopping unwanted pregnancy. Obviously teaching your children to wait until marriage is a great idea, but in today's society it is not effective. Adoption is a lose-lose situation except for the hopeful adoptive parents. Infertility is one of the main reason for adopting and adoptive parents aren't always told adopting a child is not the same as having your own. Adoption removes a child from one family and places him in another and this can have lasting emotional effects. Adopted children have needs above and beyond biological children. It can be profoundly painful to the adoptee and to their descendants. These effects include : 1. The trauma of being separated from at birth will be present throughout every aspect of child's life. The child will experience the mother's loss as the psychological death of his mother. This is a life long trauma. The brain reacts to stress in the womb and after birth and wires itself differently as the baby grows. This knowledge is recent as only now are we starting to study the effects of stress during infancy. 2. The child will think about his birth parents everyday. This is true with knowing the parents and without in open and closed adoptions. When the child is asked who she looks like, what time she was born or who was there at the delivery room...all these questions cause the child to realize that she is different. There is a shame and stigma from past adoption practices in history that all members of the adoption " triad" must deal with. 3. As the child becomes an adolescent he will have great difficulty establishing a sense of self because he will have no sense of his true history or heritage. He will not know who is supposed to be because he will not know his true origins if the adoption is closed or semi open. Not knowing another biological relative makes one feel like a misfit. The first relative most adoptees meet is their own child. The birth of a child in an adoptees life always brings the question..."how could I give this baby away"? 4. As current laws stand, the child may not have access to his medical history or birth records. This is being fought by adoptee rights groups and laws are slowly changing. Adoptees even well into adulthood are denied the basic human right of knowing who put them here and why. Women who have given away children usually have great difficulties in getting on with their lives and endure psychological problems stemming from the separation including: grief, relationship difficulties, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and secondary infertility.Contrary to popular belief these women don't go on with their lives like nothing ever happened. The same thing can be said for women who have abortions. So you see it is not an easy decision. Being poor, unwed, young or not having adequate resources to raise a child should not be a reason to abort or surrender. There is help out there for women to keep their babies and keep families intact. Guardianship, kinship placement or third party help should be explored with infant adoption as a last resort. If adoption is the choice, the adoption should be open which research finds is in the best interest of the mother and child.

My brother-in-law recently sent out an email to the whole family (there are 11 siblings in all) in which he let everyone know not to expect him and his wife to be having any more children (they have two) due to pregnancy complications, etc. He wrote, "Unless something drastic changes, we are done for now. Sorry to disappoint all you would-be aunts and uncles." Then he added, "Maybe someday if we get the funds, we might look at adoption." That last line pushed several buttons in my heart, and I couldn't stop myself from firing off the following reply: "Since the cost of adoption came up, I couldn't resist putting in a plug here for foster adoption. Of the 450,000 kids​ currently in foster care in the US, approximately 100,000 are hoping to be adopted (meaning their biological parents' rights have been completely terminated by the courts). Foster adoption costs VERY LITTLE to NOTHING. . . and these are kids (of all ages) who want nothing more than to feel loved and safe. They have experienced abuse and neglect and the loss of their biological parents and are now growing up without the love and stability of a family. Can you even imagine what that would be like? "Here's a beautiful 3-minute video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOqx4ggOJWc&feature=youtu.be) that can give you a sense of what foster adoption is about. "I feel like people are quick to brush off the possibility of foster adoption quickly, without really giving it thought, saying essentially, "It would be too hard." But here's the truth: These kids' lives are too hard. And they didn't have the luxury of choosing to say yes to the hard. It was just there. "I've never heard a foster adoptive parent say that it was easy (have you heard ANY parent say it was easy?), but I often hear them say it's worth it. I recently reached out to my friend about her foster adoption experiences (she and her husband have 7 children, 3 biological and 4 adopted from foster care). Part of her response included these powerful words: "While it is a bumpy and somewhat difficult road it is worth it. You will learn more about Jesus and yourself than you ever thought possible. You will get to witness miracles in your home. You will get to see that tough things really can bring glory to God in ways you couldn't imagine." "So I would encourage all of you - good, solid, loving parents - to consider foster adoption as a possibility for your families." ____ A few additional thoughts that I didn't share with the in-laws: It really bugs me that people assume that adoption "is expensive" before they've done any research. And, after I finished my rant, I realized that another point that needs to be made here is that any form of adoption isn't a choice you make because you happen to have $30,000 handy - "Hey, honey! We've got an extra 30 grand! Maybe we should look into adoption!" - It's a choice you make because you want another child and feel that adoption is the way you want to grow your family. Financing is something you can figure out after you've made the decision to go for it.

This is my story (the short, 1,000 word version). I've published it on my own personal blog, so I will just link it here so as not to have the content showing up in two separate places on the web. For context, my son is now eight years old. Though it is an open adoption, the pain and trauma of this experience has led me to stop visiting all together. We will reconnect when he is 18, if he wants to. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/c2e6aaede34caf14032a93aa19a0311d_view.jpg[/img] https://freeupyourplate.com/2018/02/21/i-gave-up-my-baby-for-adoption/

My search really started when the courts told me that my last name started with a "K". I started by looking up all of the high schools list for Allegheny County, Pennsyvania. Once I had those I went to classmates.com and started going through everybody listed for the years '67 & '68. Diane graduated in '68 just after I was born. I found 2 people with the name Diana and 4 with the name Diane. I was able to eliminate 4 of the people by either age or name(one graduated in '67, another was to young, one had a polish last name and the others birthdate was to late in the year). Diane was almost 18, so her birthday wasn't to far away. I checked on info for these to and they seamed to fit. One person seamed to fit really well. Then I asked my CI if my bgrandfather was still alive and she said "no." I looked up both of the last names and I person had died thatfit my bgrandfathers info. I asked my CI if he had died along time ago or not and she told me 2004 and that his second wife had also died in 2001. This didn't fit with any info that I had found. I was sure that I didn't have the right people. I spent some time going through the obits for Pittsburgh area for 2004 and finially found him. It fit the name that I had and it listed both Diane's name and her husbands. It listed Diane's brother and his wife as well as my bgrandfather's 2nd wife and her to kids with spouses. His picture is also posted with the obit. Now all I have to do is figure out which Diane (with her last name as there are several) is her. But I do believe I might have it figured out. I just need to do some cross referancing. I will not try to contact her until the CI has finished her job and hope that Diane will respond that way as I don't want to scare her. The CI is still waiting a responce to the second letter that she sent out registered. I will just sit back and wait but now I know that if nothing happens with the CI, I know that I am not done.

Well tomorrow my mom moves in. What a change in events eh??? We are both sort of dreading living with each other....so we have decided to make the best of it and have fun....most of it will include loving the coolest kid on the planet. On a sad note.....or I hope not sad...but maybe sad....it looks more and more like Colon cancer :-( But we will know more after Wednesday. So I now get to add her weekly doctor visits in Orange County 2 hours round trip away to my daugther's therapy visits, visits with her God Mother and my very very aggressive work schedule. I LOVE MY KIDDO as you know, but I have had NO DOWN TIME....NONE. I only get to take a bath when she naps in the morning then I spend the rest of the day watching her and on the phone with producers and stuff...when she goes to bed at 8, I start writing till 2 or so then go to bed. She wakes up at 7 and we are off and running again. Adding my ailing mom to the mix.....will probably kill me. But I love my mom and want her to get better....FAST! I still have to finish painting her room tonight and it is already almost midnight. I was one finger typing a document with Aria on my lap that was due today cause she was just so over Mommie trying to work. I need to find a great affordable childcare, but so far no luck. She will be going to a wonderful pre-school when she is 2 but....that's when she's 2 she is almost 1 now so that's a year away. And I battle with the idea of not seeing her cute little face everyday, but today almost killed me. We actually went out for the first time in ages to a gathering of my closest friends to eat food and drink wine. Aria got a new Baby Einstein and played on a hideabed, which she jumped and giggled on all night....till 11! You go little rock star. She is usually in bed at 8pm sharp everynight since birth so every once in a while she gets a treat. It was funny everytime the group laughed collectively she would laugh and throw her arms in the air....what a fun kid really....she rocks! So this little wonderful rock star is almost adopted we sign papers at the end of the month then wait for a court date.....weeeeeehooooo! On that note ON TUESDAY we have a meeting with her birth sister at the agency. My sw said she sounds really nice on the phone and what was really sad is....she asked that if "they" like me do you think I can see my sister grow up? Oh God.....that breaks my heart. She has been in the system for 6 years and aged out this year and never got adopted, but knows the foster system and foster homes. She mentioned that she had never had a sister and that the baby is lucky she is getting adopted. BOY....just rip my heart out why don't ya :-( This issue brings up a lot of feelings in me...one....the age old adoptive parent dilema....I was blessed (as an adoptive parent) to have a really open and shut case....crack addict mom, homeless, toothless, never shows, doesn't work on her plan....loses baby. I feel like...well...you had a chance and didn't take it so I get to raise her and now she's my daughter and part of my family. But here comes a teenager (18) who never got adopted, has the same cracked out homeless mom, who is Aria's REAL FAMILY and I am feeling :-( weird. She wants to see Aria and be her sister (which she should be....because she is her sister) and part of me wants to open my home and adopt her too.... :-) and yet...well it opens up to a whole world I didn't bargin for when I adopted a newborn baby. So I will take it one day at a time, but at the moment hearing about her sister and how much she wants to see her little 1/2 sister has brought up some weird emotions and fears. One being that we have always said that Aria is starting to look like our family, but with brown skin and now her REAL biological family will know her and well....um....it is strange for me cause for a second I feel like my kiddo is someone else if that makes sense....meeting and being in a relationship with her bio sister emphasises that she is also a part of another tribe....and tonight...the eve of my mother moving in and possibly battling cancer, the fact that the light of my life is really part of another family is.....oh boy....making me feel sad. But this is adoptive parenting.....this is what happens. I have been so blessed to be oblivious. I have been ritcheous in that my daughter's birth mother was so sick...but here comes an innocent child who wants to know her sister, someone who has been given some hard blows in life and was not a cute baby, but a really hurt child and never got adopted, who is out in the world fending for herself and one of the only nice things in her world is her little sister....and everyone I know tells me to take Aria and run....so I am again faced with the dilema....cause honestly part of me wants me to take my daughter and run and part of me wants to welcome her sister home....YIKES.....LIFE....gotta live it! But whew.....it throws you some punches. The other weird thing is I am adopting again next year and the second baby WILL be Aria's sister, but not by blood. So she will have her blood sister and her little sister, who is adopted and mom who is adopted....and in my oblivious, hippie and happiness induced state I never really looked at the dynamics of adoption...but now I see it. My angel baby with her perfect ringlet curls and big brown eyes has a white mommie and a biological 1/2 sister and a blonde auntie and soon will have an adopted little sister.....and a Momma who lives with us....and just in that description alone we will have to redefine family as so many adoptive and birth parents do everyday. The truth that no one really tells you about adoption is....it is big....it traverses a lot of planes and a lot of descriptions....You may be a mother....but someone was a mother to your child before you, you may love your child with everything you have to give of your heart, but someone loves her just because she is alive and maybe holding on to hope because she exists, you're WHOLE FAMILY may have put this child on a pedestal of love, but another family loves her too......and well....tonight....that is a lot to swallow. But I believe in God and the Blue Fairy and all that is good in the world and I know tht nothing but good is coming to my perfect little angel....so I take this ride. And we meet her sister on Tuesday.

We just finished our home visit for our homestudy to adopt our baby girl!!!!!!!!!! SW left and dh took kids to give me some time alone, been cleaning all day and all night. What a sweet husband and I have to scream YYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! It went beautifully. We still have a few more paperwork thing/physicals to get done, but its all on us now (so I know I can get it done and won't have to worry about somebody else dropping the ball. Its getting real! I was hoping for an adoption finalization before Christmas and becoming very concerned it wouldn't happen My prayer was answered. Thank you! SW has finished the final bit of paperwork the day that I prayed my heart out for her to find the time to do it. Our attorney just needs to petition the court for an adoption finalization day. We are hoping for National Adoption day, November 15th! It is only a matter of time no matter what day it is that we end up with so truthfully I'm beyond okay now, I'm ecstatic! I no longer have that weight of, could we loose him? Its gone and I feel peace. I know we will finalize. Its like I can take that deep breath and release all that stress and tension. FIY don't be like me, let God take over. I thought I was the one who could get our SW to get the move on. I needed to let it go and let God take over. E will be our forever son-is that not a miracle? This is the baby I knew so very well before he was even born.I see him growing and see the joy he brings to all who know him. He is adorable, he is amazing, I don't know what our family would do without him. He is such an ingrained part of our lives. I felt he wanted to come to our family this way long before I ever knew him and before I was ready to take that leap of faith. The first time I saw him I knew he was meant to be our son. It was a God thing, whispered right to my heart. I'm hoping for our baby to join us in December, best Christmas present I can imagine. After November 15th we will should be on the list, waiting for our baby girl to join our family. I learned my lesson, I'm going to let God take over this journey right from the start. My sweet baby girl, I can't wait to see you. I pray for your birth family. This time and the months and years to come will be painful and challenging for them. I pray they beat their demons. I pray that you will heal from the exposure you have. I have had peaceful moments whispered in my heart that you will overcome, it won't be easy and we may have some rough years but you are going to grow to be an amazing young lady. I feel that same peace with E, I know he will have his challenges, but he is going to grow into an amazing young man. He will end the cycle of addiction in his genetic line. Its something I feel with all of my heart. I feel at some point he will be the source of strength for his birth family, not now, and not any time soon but at some point in his adult life. I hope your birth family will always be part of our lives. In my heart I feel there is and always will be an eternal connection to your birth family. An "invisible red thread" that connects all of us. It cannot be broken. I will always pray for E's birth mother, even if I'm angry with her for what she exposed E to, I will do the same for your birth mom. I imagine holding you for the first time, what will you look like? Will you be a fussy baby like M or will you be an angel like C was? Will you be the best 2-3 year old like M was or a difficult 2-3 year old like C was? Will you be artistic and free spirited like C, will you be athletic and a perfectionist like M? You know I'm sure you will be just who you are meant to be-and uniquely you. I can't wait my sweet daughter, my forever and always baby. You will complete this family, we need you. E is ready for you. Today at mommy group one of my mommy friends brought her foster baby with her. I got to hold her, E was so excited to see a baby. He wanted to touch her, giggled when he got her to smile, he stroked her tiny feet and said "baby" over and over again with a big smile on his face. He will be a protective big brother and will take care of you all of your life. M is not excited about another baby sister (even though C and her are as close as sisters can be) I know she will change her mind once she meets you, she wants a baby brother because she loves E so much. C is soooo excited about a baby sister! She can't wait to dress you, to help me feed you, pick out your hair bows, she may not want to change your diapers but I think she will do just about everything she can as your big sister. And then there is your dad. You see he has a big hole in his heart that can only be filled with you. You are so lucky to have him as a daddy but I know he is even more fortunate.

I write here today, because I awoke in such a great , energetic, happy mood, checked into the forums, and was so totally floored by a certain member, that attempted to clean the floor with a reply in a post I made...meant for Firstmoms, I as usual ..with stupidity thought I could finally post where I could tell my true feelings about my twins. Not so, these forums, I had always felt were for ALL of us to come learn, vent, cry, listen and hear, others and their journies. I thought, since I had no one in my everyday world to open up to about my journey with the twins, this was a perfect place to come to. I have always enjoyed coming and listening, responding, and sometimes give gut honest opinions...I thought that was what the forums were for. I will come here now, for I know I am safe here, I cannot hurt anyone here in my own journal world. I still can purge my pain, feelings, and love that are deep inside me..without being told I have no right to do so. It has taken me 45 minutes to stop crying..thank GOD my hottie is hauling hay, for I would not like him to see me this upset. He is such an amazing gentle sole, he made me feel like a queen again this morning. We have now been married 10 yrs. I have only had 3 partners , and all 3 have been husbands. So I am not the most experienced at telling whether he is the best(especially at 62 yrs old), but I can imagine none any better. We enjoy trying new things,and always have the best time doing so. I must go take a tractor to the field..I just needed to come to my safe place, and get rid of my anger/sadness, from realizing this place is not for me..the forums that is. I know when one comes here, the adoption journeys are not always a pleasant happy place, quite the opposite actually. I knwo that we all have differing opinions, and because the subjet of our lives is adoption, there will be advers opinions that will cause some heated replies. I just thought ALL were welcome to have their voice heard...in a respectful manner...I was wrong!

Hello Everyone, This is my first time here- my first post. I'm not unfamiliar with posting on the Internet because I'm the Host of a support site called MiscarriageHelp.com. But, this is different. While I spend much of my time, (early in the day), caring about and trying to support others in their time of need, this is my time, my 'space' if you will, to share my heart- my dreams. I remember saying to my mother when I was around ten that I wanted to adopt a child someday. The feeling was so strong- as if I were born with it. I've read that some call it the "adoption gene". Perhaps that's true. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel almost a 'calling' to adopt. It's like a part of my personality and soul I was born with. I can't explain it. I just know it was there then and is still present today. I've learned not to give up on your dreams. I've also come to believe how our thoughts actually create our reality. What I mean by this, (and it's only my opinion), is that if I were to give up on my dreams of adopting, I'd essentially attract that to me. That's the last thing I want. So, I believe with all my heart, that the right child at the right time will come into my life. A child who needs me and all the love I have waiting, as much as I need him or her. This site is another step, a very real and concrete step towards living the dream. I'm putting myself out there and saying to anyone who wants to listen, "I have spent far too long waiting to be called Mommy and that special place in my heart will be filled as soon as I hear that word." I have a lot to learn, and have learned a lot. This path will lead where it's supposed to and I know there will come a day when my heart feels fulfilled because we have a family to call our own. A family that spends birthdays, Christmas's, and every day together travelling wonderfully unexpected paths- all which lead back to home. Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to making new friends here, to learning what I need to know, sharing whatever I can, and to all of us realizing our own dreams coming true. Ellen

Native children are languishing in state care in unthinkable numbers, far higher than ever lived in residential schools at any one time. Canada remains so traumatized by the sixties scoop,Ӕ the widespread adoption of native children into white homes, that it allows the native children of today to grow up without a permanent home of their own. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/opinions/editorials/native-children-also-have-the-right-to-parents/article1833657/

"Adoption is a violent act, a political act of aggression towards a woman who has supposedly offended the sexual mores by committing the unforgivable act of not suppressing her sexuality, and therefore not keeping it for trading purposes through traditional marriage. The crime is a grave one, for she threatens the very fabric of our society. The penalty is severe. She is stripped of her child by a variety of subtle and not so subtle manoeuvres and then brutally abandoned." - Joss Shawyer, Death by Adoption, Cicada Press (1979) Young parents today are still pressured and coerced into surrendering their children. These abusive practices are still alive and thriving in America's $1.4 billion-per-year adoption industry. Adoption is and has always been deeply imbued in classism, as it is adoption's intent and most often outcome to move a child from lower to higher-class status. This is truer today than ever, as adoption has become a business of finding children for clients Legal adoption in America only came into mainstream a century ago when people stopped believeing that sins were passed from mother to child, and at first all adoption records were open to the public. When they began to be closed, it was only to the general public, and the intent was to protect adoptees from public scrutiny of the circumstances of their birth.Adoptive parents and agencies that profited from adoption lobbied to overturn reform laws.Adoptees who held questions of identity, ancestry, and genetics had nowhere to turn for answers.The records were sealed for 99 years, even with joint consent, and searching carries a criminal penalty. A Public Affairs pamphlet from 1969, You and Your Adopted ChildӔ, states, Instances of extreme curiosity and concern almost never happenӅ However, should a youngster ever raise the question, it is important, of course, to make it very clear that a search is unrealistic and can lead to unhappiness and disillusionment. The Impact of the 1960Ԓs and 1970s Revolutions on Current Adoption Practices ■Liberation movements: womenҒs liberation, civil rights movement, sexual revolution, adoptees liberty movement (ALMA, 1971), birth fathersҒ rights. ■Birth control methods reduced the number of unplanned pregnancies. ■The legalization of abortion gave women a choice in whether or not to carry an unplanned pregnancy to term. ■Normalization of single parenthood in the dominant culture allowed women to choose whether to place a child for adoption or raise the child alone. ■Support of this choice was provided by increased welfare aids for unmarried females and head of household tax relief, as well as increased job opportunities. ■The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA-1978) ■Normalization of step, blended, or other family types which are not connected by blood. ■Birth Parents and adult adoptees began to speak out about their experiences, their rights and their needs. Groups such as Origins USA (founded in 1997) started to actively speak about family preservation and the rights of mothers. The intellectual tone of these recent reform movements was influenced by the publishing of The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier. "Primal wound" is described as the "devastation which the infant feels because of separation from its birth mother. It is the deep and consequential feeling of abandonment which the baby adoptee feels after the adoption and which may continue for the rest of his life." In 2007, the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute published a report concerning the issue of adoption records written by Madelyn Freundlich, the former general counsel for the Child Welfare League of America and past associate director of program and planning for the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Two of the main findings of the report state that adoptees are the only people in the U.S. that are, as a class, denied the right to view their own birth certificates, and denying adult adopted persons access to information related to their births and adoptions has potentially serious, negative consequences with regard to their physical and mental health.Ӕ The child who does not grow up with his own biological parents, who does not even know them or anyone of his own blood, is an individual who has lost the thread of family continuity. A deep identification with our forebears, as experienced originally in the mother-child relationship, gives us our most fundamental security.

Here is the information on my birthmother...Name: Diane Walker. I was born at St. Francis Hospital in Evanston, IL on June 16, 1970. Adopted 10 days later through Catholic Charities. My name on original birth certificate was Josette Lynn Walker. Birthfather was reportedly in Navy. Birthmother desc: 5'5", brown hair/brown eyes. Birth grandmother reportedly killed in car wreck in 1969. Birthmother lived with her Grandmother and Father. Also lived in "wage home" in the months before my birth, and did daycare in exchange for room and board. This family's name was Casey.